I have a dream board sitting in front of me on the desk. Sometime in August I put together this cork board square covered with images and words that inspire me and express my hopes and dreams. There is a couple walking under towering trees, a family biking under a wide blue sky, three kayaks on a lake, a boy with a magnifying glass, and a barn at dusk with lights glowing softly from within. It tells me "I can do this: make water my friend" and "Kids trump career and ministry" and "Enjoying Everyday Life" and "Putting First Things First."
And I've been thinking about this.
The Lawyer and I have felt a bit disillusioned here, renting and wondering where we will be a year from now or five years from now. Try as we may, it feels next to impossible to make a dent in our debt and still feed our family. It doesn't seem that we're moving "forward" or headed toward the goals and dreams we've talked about. . . and put on the dream board. And the children are growing up so quickly and the years are passing by.
I think about this.
We're in an amazing place. Hard, yes. Still, I have the sense that this is a particularly special year of our lives. Perhaps because it is a clearly defined brief time (1 year rental) it reminds me of another short season in our lives when, as newlyweds, we lived in a boathouse for a year. It was tough! We were learning how to be ONE and it was challenging. It was also such a sweet time and no other season has been quite like it. Something about this season feels like that to me.
Difficult as our situation seems, there is something very good about it. I see the Lord's provision here- not just provision for our daily bread (which He has supplied), but provision for our hearts and a revelation that He knows our dreams and holds us still.
One of my dreams is to live on or near water. During our first year of marriage (when we literally lived on the water!), I was comforted by the rhythm of the lake. We fed the fish, dangled toes in the water, went out on the pontoon boat, learned to water ski, took the canoe out in the early morning, and watched the sunlight and the moonlight reflect off the water. We always heard the water. We could see the weather coming by observing the surface of the lake. I grew to love it. There is water on my dream board.
We are currently living in a community that is built around a reservoir. It is a spectacularly beautiful, large lake that is only a short walk from our house. There are walking paths along the lake as well as public docks and scenic overlooks. I am living my dream of living near water.
In Lynchburg it was difficult to take family bike rides- not only was it dangerous for us to take everyone on the steep hills near our home, but we couldn't take them to the trails because we didn't have means to transport six bikes. Yet taking family bike rides is a dream of mine. The Lawyer loves to ride. I love to be outside with everyone. Here, there are miles of trails beginning right at the end of our cul-de-sac. The kids and I are out on bikes nearly every other day and The Lawyer joins us on weekends. It makes me so happy to see all of us streaming down the street. I'm living my dream of family bike rides.
So. . . my heart is encouraged! I dream and plan; the Lord directs my steps. He gives me the desires of my heart (first, for Him and for His will), graciously, generously, surprisingly.
781. Water nearby.
782. Family bike rides.
783. Boys catching turtles, frogs, grasshoppers. . .
784. Squash puree (adding nutrition to so many things!)
785. The first week with food left over at the end. Such a good feeling!
786. Reading books in the grass with the children.
787. Proverbs daily. Over and over and over. Sowing seeds.
788. Dream board reminders.
789. M's kisses.
790. Peppermint on headaches.