Here is an excerpt from last month's cover story in the Washington Post Magazine. It was written by Ellen McCarthy and called "Marriage: What Every Couple Should Know." I read the article on the website for The Counsel for Biblican Manhood and Womanhood :
The writer asks, "What if the truth was that you didn't marry the wrong person? What if you just didn't know how to be married?"
"The article then goes on to share the results of a decade long study that showed that [A]ll couples-those who are happily married into their rocking chair years and those who divorce before they hit their fifth anniversary-disagree more or less the same amount. [The study] found that [all couples] argue about the same subjects-money, kids, time, and sex chief among them-and that for the average couple, 69 percent of those disagreements will be irreconcilable. A morning bird and a night owl won't ever fully eliminate their differences; nor will a spendthrift and a penny pincher. What distinguished satisfied couples from the miserable ones, [they] found, was how creatively and constructively they managed those differences.... If every couple has about the same number of disagreements, people who leave marriage because of irreconcilable differences are likely to find themselves arguing just as much in their next marriage.... What [these researchers] were finding undermined the basic principle driving romantic relationships in America: "That it's about finding the right person. That if you find your soulmate, everything will be fine.... [T]hat's the big myth."
This is why arranged marriages can be happy marriages (good news for our kids!). This is why there is hope in the most hopeless looking situations- because Christ can transform hearts and lives and marriages to reveal the glory of His gospel. I must confess, I also found it reassuring to know that the kinds of differences The Lawyer and I have are common differences.
And, since it is Monday (again? already?!), these thoughts lead right into thanksgiving:
791) Twelve years under our belts.
792) He brings me chocolate. I make him pie and dinner every night (dinner every night but not pie!).
793) He does the dishes nearly every night. And I remember when he NEVER did dishes.
794) I see him as king of this humble domain.
795) He sits with his Apple on his lap; I sit with my Apple on mine.
796) We walk through the woods at night in the deep darkness and the children laugh and play (so great is their trust in his strength and protection.)
797) He encourages me to face challenges and do right things and to rest.
798) We had another church "adventure" on Sunday. So thankful to hear the Gospel and to sing hymns of praise!
799) He leads a little family circle of prayer at night.
800) He wiggles teeth and punches boys (it's okay- really!) and tickles them all until they scream.
801) He comes back to bed in the early morning and holds his arm out to me and I can rest again.
802) For the good plan of the Father that marriage should be a mystery and yet reflect Christ and the Church.