Monday, December 27, 2010

Year's End

"O Love beyond compare,
Thou art good when thou givest,
                        when thou takest away,
                        when the sun shines upon me,
                        when night gathers over me.
Thou hast loved me before the foundations of the world, and in love didst redeem my soul;
Thou dost love me still, in spite of my hard heart, ingratitude, distrust.
Thy goodness has been with me during another year,
         leading me through a twisting wilderness,
         in retreat helping me to advance,
         when beaten back making sure headway.
Thy goodness will be with me in the year ahead. . . "

(from the Valley of Vision prayer "Year's End")

The baby seems to have another ear infection and can only sleep upright in my arms. The three year old is in my bed, saying that his leg hurts but it will feel better if he sleeps with me. The seven year old is coughing as he listens in the dark to a book on tape. There is not enough of me to go around, it seems, and I am woefully inept at this doctoring that seems to be a large part of mothering in the winter.

And YET.
#382 He loves me!
#383 The sun shines in golden, warming beams through the house.
#384 We are anticipating visitors, the first in so long! It is such joy to prepare for loved ones.
#385 When we run low on fresh produce (end of the month, it is!), the neighbor calls and gives us celery
#386 When the van (and The Lawyer) are in Richmond, a friend offers to loan her van and time to take me and the sickies to the doctor
#387 I will still receive a paycheck this month, when I did very little and still feel unable to do much at all. Isn't that an amazing thing? I love the company I work for.
#388 Snow boots for the boys; we have gone without for so long and these really make winter fun!
#389 A good word for my soul (see above)
#390 There is always a YET. After I voice my fears and sorrows, after I tell Him all that is unsettling, after I talk out all that is on my mind. . . I can come back to the YET, to the promises of His love.

1 comment:

Annesta said...

Can I just tell you what a blessing your list is to read tonight? May you feel the love of the Christ Child surround you tonight as you love on your little sick ones. May He strengthen you and provide you with all the grace that you need in this season of your life.