|Actors and spectators in a Revolutionary War camp|
As The Lawyer and I hiked Humpback Rocks in the Blue Ridge yesterday, we talked about our dreams, where we've come from, the patterns we see in our lives, and some of our hopes for the future. There were days last month when I was asking myself questions like, "if my husband is dying of cancer and we have only a short time left, what do we need to take care of? Am I clear on the legacy he wants me to carry on if he were absent? How can we fully enjoy and maximize every moment? How do I love him well? What do I need to ask forgiveness for? How am I going to make it without him?"
Of course, we all have a short time left. We don't know the number of our days and they are passing by like flowers fading in the sun. So, my questions in the face of a possible diagnosis are really questions that I want answered now.
There are things we want that we don't have. That will always be the case. There are hard things, challenges, difficult relationships. And YET... when I think about what I really want, I already have it.
I have LIFE. I'm living and breathing, seeing and feeling... and that is glorious in itself.
I've been gifted an amazing husband. I still believe the Lord grew us up for each other and I have the joy of living with my best friend and doing life with a handsome, loyal, smart, funny, hardworking man.
Children! What a gift! I thought we would have a few... maybe four. We've been gifted SIX lives and I'm still surprised by this. Incredible, wonderful, unique children that bring light and laughter and joy to my days. I wanted children; this reality is better than my dreams.
|The James River was warm compared to the air!|
Ministry. It's my dream to invest in families, to speak of the Lord's goodness to many, to help and inspire and be part of the great things the Lord is doing. I see my JuicePlus+ business as this. We inspire healthy living around the world, get to speak of God's good designs, be in the trenches with families... and I get to do it from home, with my family, for my family.
So these days that feel hard, the money that runs out too quickly, the stinkiness and craziness of our life... it fades when I refocus and remind myself that RIGHT NOW I'm living my dream. This is what I wanted to do, after all! It's what I still want to do (but it's good to be reminded). Not that I'm having fun all day- at 9 am this morning I was already bent out of shape by the mess of the house and the chaos around me. It was time for a deep breath and that reminder: I'm living the life He's given and it's GOOD because it's through His hands for me.