Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Perfect Provision

I hope you like stories of God's provision. I like them. And I like to tell them, hoping that He receives glory and that they are faith- building for others.

The stories of provision that I like to tell are not at all about my prayers or my goodness or anything about me at all; it amazes me that God is good to me at all- not because of me, but because GOOD is who He is. And powerful. And capable. And so much more.

I especially like to read stories of George Mueller. That man's faith inspires and humbles me. And I think about how he would ask the Lord for things he needed and then wait, never breathing a word about the need to any man, and the Lord provided.

In that spirit, I approached the Lord one day a few months ago. I was feeling weary and incapable and inefficient and unable to manage. Then, I was feeling even more pitiful as I thought of my friends who have housekeepers or lawn boys or grandparents who live near and help them. Even the Duggars have help! They have a "laundry angel" who voluntarily comes to do their laundry. "And I have no one!" I cried.

Then, I remembered the sage words of another dear friend, who shared her inner conversation with me:

"I wish I had friends.  God doesn't think I need them right now."
"I wish I had help.  God doesn't think I need help right now."
"I wish my mom didn't have to take care of my grandfather so that she could be with us (horrible, I know).  God doesn't think I need her right now."
"Why did my daughter's birth mother have to drink while she was pregnant with her?  God knew I needed her as my daughter with her limitations."
"Why can't I be prettier?  God knows I need to crave less attention from people."
"Why can't I have it all together like so and so?  God knows that if you thought you had it all together you'd think you were like Him."

I've done this for about two years.  Eventually, it works so that it becomes habit.  And THEN, and ONLY then, am I able to add to my list of 1000 Gifts, GENUINELY.  :-)  This is how I practice living in grace."

And so, I thanked the Lord for our circumstances . . . but I also asked the Lord for help if He thought I needed it. Either way, I would praise Him. But I asked Him to provide help (for me, specifically) in some incredible, obvious ways if He was okay with providing me help.

In the next post, I'll tell you what happened.

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