It may just be that I'm pregnant. Or maybe because I just drove 1000 miles across the U.S.A. in two days with five children. Probably missing my husband and lack of sleep and being totally off our routine also added to the emotion of the day. . .
I found myself laughing today- when The Lawyer started up his "new" (given to us!) diesel truck in our driveway and I could hear it where I walked on the trail by our house. And yesterday- laughing with relief and joy in the arms of my husband.
And crying today- as I hugged my only girl and gave thanks for this life I get to live. And this evening as I tried to put into words for The Lawyer how I feel at home in IL and yet not; and how I want something different for our family and yet I don't know what or how to get there.
And it's all such a mix, this crazy life. I give thanks for a free hotel room and then cry when my M burns his fingers on the coffeepot there and bites his tongue while we're at the pool. And I laugh at my children, so glad to be out of the van (and yet making me more than a little crazy!) and I cry when I feel so tired and yet must push on.