Things feel hard, honestly. In fact, I dared to say to The Lawyer that I think this is the most difficult season we have lived. I typically call him when I am in tears- several times a week. The days feel so full and so challenging and so exhausting; and so lonely without him. This is probably why I haven't been posting much. I wonder why it feel so hard; other people with babies seem to be doing better than I am; other people with more children; other people with other, more difficult situations. . .
Maybe it is precisely this, the bringing me to my knees, that I needed. Because my heart is tuned now to see mercy and to recognize generosity all around me. I am desperate for it! And I see it (more and more, I think?) all around me- God's generosity through people, through nature.
#371 A cousin's generosity to open her home. To The Lawyer for months. To our family. A few nights together during the week is SO good for all of us.
#372 A party invitation. From people I don't know. Opening their home, sharing themselves.
#373 Beef from my parents. The BEST meat at a generously inexpensive price.
#374 The Lawyer, compelled to expand the budget for generous gifts. A heart that loves!
#375 Celebration! Kerri Ellen, our newest niece, is born!
#376 Gift of chocolate (I'm pretty sure I've listed this before, but every time I have a chocolate from the cupboard, I'm thankful again!)
#377 Christmas concert at St. John's. The big boys stood for nearly 2 hours during the concert because there weren't seats for us. I joined them after the first 1/2 hour and gave my seat to someone (who didn't have a wiggly baby to hold)). The music- oh, the music! Christmas music that swelled my heart and lifted it.
#378 One good night of sleep. Just enough to keep me going.
#379 Boxes under the Christmas tree, generous gifts from grandparents and siblings.
#380 A few quiet minutes to pray and read and seek.
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