Monday, December 20, 2010

Generosity Noted

Our family has been doing the family-separated thing for four months now. The Lawyer lives in Richmond (with generous relatives) and commutes downtown to the Attorney General's office. The rest of us are still in Lynchburg, waiting for our house to sell.

Things feel hard, honestly. In fact, I dared to say to The Lawyer that I think this is the most difficult season we have lived. I typically call him when I am in tears- several times a week. The days feel so full and so challenging and so exhausting; and so lonely without him. This is probably why I haven't been posting much. I wonder why it feel so hard; other people with babies seem to be doing better than I am; other people with more children; other people with other, more difficult situations. . .

Maybe it is precisely this, the bringing me to my knees, that I needed. Because my heart is tuned now to see mercy and to recognize generosity all around me. I am desperate for it! And I see it (more and more, I think?) all around me- God's generosity through people, through nature.

#371 A cousin's generosity to open her home. To The Lawyer for months. To our family. A few nights together during the week is SO good for all of us.
#372 A party invitation. From people I don't know. Opening their home, sharing themselves.
#373 Beef from my parents. The BEST meat at a generously inexpensive price.
#374 The Lawyer, compelled to expand the budget for generous gifts. A heart that loves!
#375 Celebration! Kerri Ellen, our newest niece, is born!
#376 Gift of chocolate (I'm pretty sure I've listed this before, but every time I have a chocolate from the cupboard, I'm thankful again!)
#377 Christmas concert at St. John's. The big boys stood for nearly 2 hours during the concert because there weren't seats for us. I joined them after the first 1/2 hour and gave my seat to someone (who didn't have a wiggly baby to hold)). The music- oh, the music! Christmas music that swelled my heart and lifted it.
#378 One good night of sleep. Just enough to keep me going.
#379 Boxes under the Christmas tree, generous gifts from grandparents and siblings.
#380 A few quiet minutes to pray and read and seek.

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