"Early" Toilet Training

This is a post that I should put a lot of time into. There is a wealth of information out there on toilet training. I would like to cite those good articles and sources... but quite frankly, I just don't have the time nor desire to do all that work. I'm busy with other things. . . such as taking my 2 year old to the potty.

T has been wearing underwear successfully for the past 3 weeks (prior to his second birthday). Both of my bigger boys were in underwear between 18 months and 2 years and they were in underwear all of the time- day and night- with rarely a wet accident. (No accidents involving solid waste.)

Most people don't ask me about this, but they do seem surprised. My theory is that people don't really want to know HOW I do this. . . because they are not ready to put forth the effort. I'm convinced that toilet training is mostly about the parents.

I don't like changing dirty diapers (especially after the first 6 months or so). I don't like washing and folding and dealing with the cloth diapers all that much, either. And I love the feel of a little bum in my hand. So, I have incentive.

Then, I read that worldwide, most children are toilet trained by 18 months. I thought about babies in Africa and the Native Americans. I read about the steady increase in the age of children who wear diapers in the U.S.A. and its connection with the ease and availability of disposable diapers. I read the disposable diaper's package and found out that the fecal material was supposed to be dumped in the toilet before disposing of the diaper (and I didn't know anyone who was doing that)... and I thought, "WHY dump the matter there? Why not just HAVE it there and be done with it?"

I have friends who have used infant awareness (or elimination control method) with their babies. I didn't want to do that with my 3 week old babies (the mental picture was wrong for me). Then I had more children and I didn't want to take the time to do it (while the house was falling apart around me). I don't see myself as extreme, but I want to be practical and I see advantages to having my children toilet trained at a young age.

Most of the time, I think the wait for toilet training is connected with a mother who doesn't want to take the time to take the baby to the toilet. I would rather take the time to go to the toilet and save myself the diaper change. I also want going on the toilet to be NORMAL to my children. When we introduce the potty at age 3, I'm not surprised that children balk. Why, all of a sudden, are we changing things on them? They were accustomed to soiling themselves (after all, that's what we allow/train them to do). "Start as you intend to go" is a motto I love, and I think it applies well to toilet training.

So, I came up with my own strategies that seemed to work for our family. Here are some of my tips:

1)Take the baby to the potty whenever you can tell he is going to the bathroom. Then he can continue the process on the toilet. (You can tell when they are grunting and making faces!) As he is on the potty, make a sound to signify using the toilet. We make a psssss sound, like running water. This becomes a verbal cue.

2)Take the baby (I started at 6 months or so) to the potty at regular times. My children would be on the potty first thing in the morning (when I'd change a diaper anyway) and always before their bath (when the water was filling). Not only did I use a verbal cue, but I added a hand gesture.

3)Take the baby (I did this around age 1) potty whenever you would be changing their diaper. This is more often in the morning and less in the afternoon. It doesn't take too much attention to figure out how often or regularly your child needs to use the toilet. Use the verbal cue and gesture.

4)Celebrate when they use the toilet correctly! Words of praise mean a lot to a one year old and your baby LOVES when you clap for him. Later, I used the JuicePlus gummies as a (healthy) reward. Recently, I would reward T for staying dry AND for going on the potty; that seemed effective.

5)Allow the baby's bum to be diaper free sometimes. Not only is this good for air circulation for rashes or eczema, it is just healthy for the skin to breathe. It's also an opportunity to catch them in the act and use the verbal cue and practice walking to the potty.

6)Make it fun! T thinks it's fun if we RUN to the potty. So, when I see him start to fidget or grab at his shorts I make it a game: "Let's run to the potty!" or "Let's race to the potty!"

7)In general, don't ASK if they want to/need to go potty. This is a waste of time because they will (almost) always say "no." But you know, or you can guess when they need to go. Don't ask them; tell them: "It's time to go to the potty now!" I expect obedience in this as I do in all things. They don't have to actually eliminate, but they will sit on the potty when I ask them to.

Honestly, it has so much to do with the child. "They" say that girls are generally easier to train, but my L will STILL be the one to willfully choose not to use the toilet. She knew the same things as the boys knew at age 2, but had a defiant streak.

It also has everything to do with me. Can I be encouraging and excited? Do I huff and puff when there is an accident? Does it bother me to change wet clothes, or do I see the value in moving toward toilet training? Do I have the time and energy it takes to pursue toilet training? Do I have the money and energy not to toilet train? Will it bother me to get up (several times) during dinner when I hear, "Mommy, need go pee-pee!" Am I willing to even get up in the NIGHT again if that same little voice calls to me from the darkened room beside mine? Can I stay the course? (This is the question in SO MUCH of what I do!)

I tell you, it IS so rewarding and fun when your two year old wears unders. It IS so much easier and cheaper and cleaner (kind of!). I love it and it's worth it to me, and so I'm celebrating T's success.