Another note on the new year: we're making other changes. It's time to rethink what we are doing and why and in evaluating our goals for our family we decided that some changes were called for. Mainly this stems from my continually feeling tired and overwhelmed. (Am I really spinning my wheels, or do I just feel like it?)
I've struggled to stay focused on the things that are really important and I'm well aware that time is quickly passing. "All men are like grass" the psalmist says. My time to invest in my children is so short. This time when my husband really needs my support in extraordinary ways is fleeting. (Each day feels like it presents more than I can possibly bear and I am left clinging to His promise that He will never leave me or forsake me and that His plans for my life are for good. Let me consider it joy, then, all the work to be done; and let me do it with humility, pouring myself out for others.)
It was mentally exhausting to evaluate all the things we DO and their merits. I so look forward to my Bible study. CBS is great for the kids. Oh, we have so much fun at children's choir. We have always gone to the library every week! Worship team is fun. Amazement Square is the perfect place to play. Everything we were doing was good in some way. Some of them had no negatives. But were they EXCELLENT? And did they move us closer to our family goals? It became clear that the easiest way to simplify was to cut out EVERYTHING for this semester. That took the pressure off of disappointing some people (my reputation idol!), and having to explain so much. We can add things back in gradually, as time permits.
Let me just say that I feel so relieved! (Yes, I'm sad about some things, too.) Braden has a really busy semester; his first semester that he is working while going to school. (Is it even possible?!) We have one vehicle and it will help him to drive some days. Honestly, I don't like driving around anyway; it wears me out to schlep four kids in and out of the van and it literally takes at least 10 minutes to get everyone dressed (appropriately!) and out the door. So this will give me time freedom. That time can go back where it needs to be. We are in a season of training and schooling and me desperately trying to be the mom and wife and woman God desires. It's so hard! And yet I sense a deep goodness to this, too.
Perhaps I'll have more time to post? ha. Don't get your hopes up- unless you all start commenting again to encourage me!
4 comments:
I think you are so smart Calli. All that we have committed to is piano lessons for the six year old church on Sunday and bible study every other week. With not having a lot of commitments we are more free to serve in ways that we are able and when we have the time. Even so I feel like my wheels are spinning. Maybe it's because we just got over Christmas.
Thanks for your encouraging comment on my blog. I know you understand. I am growing through all of this. I am having to cling to Him because nothing else will get me through. It is a blessing for me to have the encouragement of others that are in my same boat in life.
Can I look forward to more posts this year?
Bold move, to drop everything, but I'm sure it will be helpful to take a step back and refocus. Knowing your focus and your purpose are so important. Kudos to you! :)
Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. I appreciate your post as I can really relate as a wife and mother. I think it is really wise of you to simplify your life in this way. We try to keep things simple here with fewer commitments and I am a better wife and mother for it. Thanks for sharing.
Blessings to you.
Hey, Calli,
Have you ever visited Girltalk? (I linked through hholland.) Everything they're talking about this month has a lot to do with these themes.
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