Peace

Thanks to my friend Jessica for encouraging me with this:

"Peace does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise, trouble, or hard work. Peace menas to be in the midst of all those things and still be calm in your heart."

Yesterday was good for my heart. Worshipping always is. The Holy Spirit gently pointed out that I have been spending more of my time trying to figure out "how to make my life work" than on how to please and honor God. In essence, I have been focused on my idol of control and the elusive feel-good state of "having my act together." I have been wanting that (nirvana of a clean home, well-fed, well-behaved children, intimate marriage, thriving business, etc.) MORE than I have been wanting WHATEVER it is that God has for me. No wonder I have been struggling and discontent!

Today God had for me: wet pants (including mine!) three spilled drinks (at one meal!) and crying, less sleep than I would like (Rhyle said, "Mom! I'm too tired [for discipline]"), and many of my other plans foiled. But He also gave me the sweetness of kissing a baby's soft head, of coos and baby talk, of off-the-cuff knock-knock jokes, and genuine hugs, and His word aptly meeting me (in the 5 minutes I had to myself).

There is peace for me admist the noise because the peace is within, and it passes understanding.