Privileged Position

From Elisabeth Elliot (A Lamp For My Feet):
""I have glorified Thee on the earth'' (Jn 17:4 AV), He said--and that glory was manifested through weakness, loss, and suffering. What a privileged position we are called to share.

Lord, lift up our eyes, away from ourselves and our small losses, up to that glory yet to be revealed. Teach us that it is only out of weakness that we are made strong, only as we suffer that we may reign, only as we lose that we may gain."

Though I'm often tempted to look at my day and week as a tally sheet of wins/losses and ups/downs. . . I know that is not what my life is. It's a mysterious commodity to have what we give up and to gain what we lose. My limited perspective and finite understanding are far too small to comprehend what the Lord of all the earth deems right! Only can I trust and lift up my eyes to His glory. . . then my weakness and all the losses and loneliness and disappointments are privileged, that I might share with Jesus.

And so, these too are gifts. I continue giving thanks:
518) The people who didn't show up to see the house
519) The canceled trip for us to look at homes in Richmond
520) Market competition across the street
521) Sickness of loved ones
522) Canceled orders

Kale Crisps

Yummy!

Our garden is green with kale that I planted in the fall. Such fun to have a spring crop! I've been looking for ways to put this kale to good use. Last week I added kale to our Complete shakes; blueberries covered the color quite well. Then, I tried making Kale Crisps and they went over very well!

First, I trimmed the hard stalks off of a colander full of kale. I tore the leaves into smaller pieces and put them into a bowl. Then, I added about 1 teaspoon of olive oil and 1/2 teaspoon of salt and a dash pepper. After placing the kale on a large baking stone, I baked them at 400 degrees for about 15 minutes- until they were crisping up nicely.

Despite the reticence at supper to TRY the crisps. . . once everyone had some, the bowl was continually passed around until they were finished. The Lawyer said they reminded him of something else. . . and realized later that they were similar to the crispy leaves of roasted brussel sprouts.

I was telling all of this to a friend the next day and she looked a bit disbelieving. "Yeah," she said, "maybe your kids would like that; they're used to eating that healthy stuff."

Thanks for Spring

Cannot lay my head down until I list thanks. . .
501. That tulip tree across the street
502. The forsythia in the backyard
503. Under the weeping cherry tree
504. Tiny helicopters on the tree down the street
505. Hyacinth and daffodils and irises. . .
506. The car we didn't get.
507. The house that hasn't sold.
508. The friends who still loan their futon.
509. The three way call tonight; sisters in Christ encouraging one another in the journey.
510. Clean smell of Thieves cleaner.
511. T's full smile when he does something he knows makes me happy.
512. Baby babbles. . "nanana"= no no.
513. The Lawyer's hard work on the budget.
514. New friends- despite me!
515. God's provision of clothing- just one day after I begged Him.
516. The Lawyer sending me to bed- on the phone, across the miles.
517. The unsearchable mystery of grace.

Signs of Spring!

Recently, we had surprisingly warm weather here in VA. Here are some photos from our family walk. We set out to photograph the many signs of spring but then realized our camera does not take good close-up photos of the flowers and trees and small things we were enjoying the beauty of. The Lawyer did capture daffodils, a tulip tree, and a purple iris... as well as our stop at the playground (where T thought it was so warm he needed to remove his shirt!)

Memorizing Colossians

The kids and I have the goal of memorizing the book of Colossians this year. We have worked through the first chapter of Colossians and are moving into chapter two. At this point, O and I can recite the first chapter by memory- if we help each other out. Once we can do it flawlessly, we plan to reward ourselves with a celebratory ice cream date.

This month we started on Colossians 2. Our basic plan is to say the previous verses every day (so at the end of last month we were saying the entire first chapter each day), then we learn the new verse (or portion of a verse if it is very long). I like to use some ASL to help us with this, and it teaches us another language. We then say the new verse 10 times. Each day, the big boys (age 7 and 9) are to review their verses by themselves by using the memory section of their binder. There, I've given them this version, which I find really stretches our brains and helps us commit the Word to memory.

What about you? Are you sowing God's Word in your heart? Helping your children? I'd love to do this better.

Using the first letter of each word looks like this:
Colossians Chapter 2
1 F I w y t k h g a s I h f y a f t a L a f a w h n s m f t f, 2 t t h m b e, b h t i l, t r a t r o f a o u a t k o G's m, w i C, 3 i w a ha t t o w a k. 4 I s t i o t n o m d y w p a. 5 F t I a a i b, y I a w y i s, r t s y g o a t f o y f i C.

Journey to JOY

My vow to the Lord was that if He woke me up in the 5 a.m. hour I would get up and spend time with Him. I had the unexpected joy of that time this morning and can hardly believe that my family is just now stirring. (While The Lawyer is gone most of the children are up by 6:15!)

This morning I flipped back through things I've written down in these quiet times over the past months. These stood out to me:

"He has to keep results that are encouraging away from us until we learn to trust him without them." (A.B. Simpson)
- This reminds me of my recent post that things aren't all seeming to work out the way I thought/hoped. What a great opportunity for me to trust more!

Psalm 5:3
"O Lord, in the morning you hear my voice; in the morning I direct my prayer to you and watch."
- I'm so thankful for this morning time with the Lord and the reminder that He is already working all of this out and I can simply pray and watch. Not only will these details come clear (house, car, clothing we need, financial burdens), but our eternal hope of glory will be seen!

"But, O what death it is to strive and labor, to be always in a hurry and yet do nothing." (Valley of Vision)
- I am learning to slow down. This weekend time is good for me to practice doing the things that are most important. I want to learn to strive and labor for the things that matter.

Ecclesiastes 5:18
"What I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot. . . 
5:20... for he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart." (emphasis for me)

Can I be thus occupied? With JOY in my heart? Oh, that is the preoccupation best for me! There will be much toil today- laundry and dishes and chores galore. . . and I have this mission of motherhood and also a business of helping others increase their wellness and purpose. . . and my days are few and numbered. . .

But this is the year of increasing JOY and I'm stumbling and tripping and learning.

What's Hardest to Give

The Lawyer and I have dear friends serving as missionaries overseas. The Lawyer's best man from our wedding has a brother in IL whose daughter is undergoing treatment for cancer. We have followed along on their blog, prayed for their family, and talked with our children about this.

I'm often pierced right through by the things Jada (the six year old fighting cancer) says. Her words and actions reveal incredible faith. Recently, Doug has been reading a book about Job to her, and he blogged that Jada said, "It seems like God always wants what's hardest to give."

Tonight, that is challenging me.

We have a great life. ALL is gift; all is grace (as I first heard from Ann).

I look at the week ahead and wonder what God wants me to give.

Our house is listed again and we had a showing today. We have also watched every other house on our street sell. And our friend's house a few streets away; they were in no hurry to move. And friends in FL who have to move in 30 days. And I stain the floor and I paint and put a new flag out and a wreath up and The Lawyer rakes and picks up sticks and spruces up the outside. And we work like crazy on Sundays (so desperate for Sabbath rest!) for showings and open houses. And we wait.

Our need for another vehicle presses upon us. I prematurely rejoiced last week when we were told of a potential gift of a car. . . it seemed like such incredible, God-only-kind of provision. But the car doesn't run and needs too much work to make it a "working" option. So we wait.

As I think about the week ahead, the rub seems to be this: I've trusted God and believed He would do these BIG things for us- providing a buyer for our home, providing a vehicle. I've been full of joy and praise when it looked like these were given. . . and then I've been disappointed when they weren't. I've come to look at all of it as gift. . . but then, a few breaths later, I'm wondering how much longer we'll wait for His provision.

Maybe what's hardest for me to give is simply PRAISE. Praise all the time. Believing that all this is the provision and using my lips and my hands and all of me to give thanks.

Maybe I'm starting to see what the 1000 gifts are all about. Maybe it is finally sinking into my soul.

Real Gifts

For the past several days I've been mulling over our "real estate reality." We did decide to list with Agent 3#. Not only did her enthusiasm and confidence inspire us, but we agreed on a listing price. Just the decision to list with her caused hope to spring up again. That very day she sent someone to take photos and put a sign in the yard. I've cleaned out a few more bins from the basement, stained the office floor, and purchased paint for our bedroom- all with the thought that a sale will be forthcoming.

The financial reality has also been rolling over and over in my mind. First, the disappointment of our not-so-lucrative investment. Then, the question of what we'll be able to afford in Richmond (a double-wide?). Mix in a twinge of frustration at our remaining debt and a feeling of helplessness at changing the situation. . . and things look ugly.

But, oh grace! For He has changed my perspective and allowed me JOY in this.

For I realized that the down payment we had for this house was a GIFT. Our FL house was a great investment- but not because we were smart and chose great real estate and not because we deserved to make money on our home there. No, it was "the market." We just happened to buy at the right time and to sell just before things drastically dropped in value. (We didn't set out to do this but the timing aligned with our needs.) In other words, our buying and selling was orchestrated so that we had a nice down payment for this house in Lynchburg; God did this for us. It was His gift.

And now we're selling again and "the market" isn't good at all. Once again, we're making a move based on faith, with the timing determined by the open doors and not by the value of our property. And once again, whatever we have in our pocket is simply a gift. It isn't because we are smart, savvy, or deserving. If we have much it is only because He has given much. If we have a little, it is because He has chosen to give us a little. Either way, it's more than I deserve. . .

Because it's just gift. Gifts are given with good intentions. They are large and small. My good God gives perfect gifts at perfect times because He is all love and He only gives good things. A meager down payment sounds awful to me, but He says it's (what He's given us is) GOOD. The money is His anyway, and He has enough and more. Surely if we needed more He would provide it.

*Sigh* I wish I could still put my thoughts down in coherent ways. This thought was SO good in my head and yet . . .  weak when I try to put it into a post. The transformation in my heart was complete and comforting, however, when I really started to cling to this. THIS, what I'm living today, is His gift.

I give thanks!

A Day Makes a Difference

Last week was the first week of The Lawyer's Friday telecommute. This means he was able to come home on Thursday night! And oh, what a difference a day can make!

492. Another breakfast with Daddy. Proverbs with Daddy.
493. And lunch together- such a treat!
494. And dinner! One weeknight dinner as a family. Wonderful.
495. One morning to get up and get a long walk in. Thank you!!
496. A little bit more sleep as The Lawyer takes a turn getting up with children.
497. Loads of laundry on Friday and Saturday- but none on Sunday. Ah, Sabbath.
498. Quiet conversation on Saturday night. Kids in bed and us not too exhausted to enjoy our time together.
499. Dinner dishes done! SO nice to come down from bathing kids and see a tidy kitchen.
500. And that free car we've been praying about? Oh... it looks like God is saying YES!

School Art- Circles

I'm not much for school art projects, but I saw this great idea on Planted by Streams and copied it. (Loved that it only involved crayons and watercolors!) She has lots of great ideas and I'm perfectly content to just do a little bit of what she is doing. Maybe I'll do more when I don't have a nursing baby and a husband two hours away.

Real Estate Reality

It almost feels as if we are part of a reality tv show; over the past weekend we met with three realtors, each hoping to help us sell our home. Our contract with our first realtor expired after six months. We extended another month and are now listed "by owner" as we decide what to do next. We thought that meeting with three different realtors would give us a good perspective of the market, our asking price, and a time frame. (The reality of our situation, in other words.)

Realtor 1: Market is still slow and will keep going down. 17% likelihood of selling our home in the next 6 months. Thinks we have a great home that shows well but didn't give us a listing price. Showed us comparison houses within our school district. This realtor uses social networking and extensive marketing and does not think open houses are valuable (1% return). He is very successful in Lynchburg and we genuinely liked him.

Realtor 2: Market is still slow, but we are moving into the two biggest selling months (March and April). Thinks our house is great and believes our asking price is the right price. However, also believes we would be showing more if we had a heat pump and/or AC. Recommends installing at least partial heat pump/AC as soon as possible and keeping the price we are currently asking. We like this realtor because she helped us find this house and she is positive and enthusiastic. She does host open houses and thinks they are valuable.

Realtor 3: Market is down 25% and still dropping due to short sales and foreclosures. Loves our house because she loves old homes with character. In fact, she has shown our home several times over the past six months. Compared our house to other similar homes in Lynchburg and believes there is not much to competition within our price range (if we drop the price). Agrees that we are hurt by not having a heat pump or AC, but instead of installing these she recommends we get a quote and adjust the price of our home. We like her honesty and energy and she has a great network here, using media but also making lots of personal connections.

So now we are praying about who to list our home with and how much we should ask. The reality is that we are walking away from this house with less money than we brought to it. The longer it takes to sell, however, the more we are potentially losing. And we need to sell.

It is especially painful that we are not going to walk away with as much as we have invested in our home; we are moving to a more expensive area of VA with less to spend on a house. Still, we have friends who are upside-down in their mortgages and even though we hoped real estate would be a good investment for us, it hasn't been over the past five years.

The good news is that we made a good profit on our FL house (that we invested here) and we'll be buying low in Richmond. It was beneficial to meet with these realtors and check our hopes with the reality of the real estate market right now. It was a bit sobering, and yet I'm also feeling hopeful- buoyed by fresh enthusiasm and confidence that we have a great home that could sell soon. Our family needs to be together, even if we are house poor. That's why we diversify, right?

Kicked the Ear Infection

The great news is that we have been ear infection FREE for about a month now. It was my prayer that we could come up with some solutions for M (10 mo now) and avoid putting tubes in, if possible. Even though tubes are very normal here in the U.S. , the rest of the world isn't jumping to the conclusion that tubes are best/necessary. Therefore, we opted to try many different things before seeing the ENT. Some of these I think were really helpful:

1) Waiora. Drops that I put in his ears each time he nursed. I also gave a few orally each day. Even though I can't explain exactly WHY this helps, I really do think it was the big gun for us.
2) Elderberry. In the form of JuicePlus+ Vineyard blend. This helps reduce tissue inflammation.
3) Probiotics. These friendly gut bacteria lead to greater health overall and an improved immune system to fight infection. I also feel this is crucial if antibiotics are being used, as they will replace the good bacteria being killed off by the "medicine."
4) Bromelain. Pineapple is in the orchard JuicePlus+. Again, it reduces inflammation and aids healing. I increased M's JuicePlus+.
5) Thieves oil to fight infection and other oils used to soothe.

Sleep Experiment- Night 7

Put M to bed last night at 6:30, before I headed out to talk to a basketball team (How to have a Competitive Edge!).
M woke at 8:30, when L went into her room for her pajamas (and turned on the overhead light). I comforted him and put him down again.
10:45 p.m. nursed (M was crying persistently and I was still awake).
3:45 a.m. nursed.
5:45 a.m. nursed. I'm not sure he ever went back to sleep after this. O brought him down at 6:45 a.m.

I can tell M isn't getting enough sleep. He is tired in the early morning and ready for a nap by 8:30 a.m. It's a stretch to make him wait until 9:30 or 10 a.m., but it seems like we do need to space the two naps for the day later so he can make it to a 6:30 bedtime. He could probably go to bed earlier and easier if I would get dinner together earlier.

He sleeps much better in L's room when he is by himself. He sometimes takes great naps but lately they have been interrupted because he has needed to use the potty. I'm in the habit of nursing before I lay him down but maybe if I would forgo those sessions he wouldn't need to get up again mid-nap.

At this point there are more questions than answers! And sometimes I think I have ideas of what to do, but just can't seem to work that out in our life.

10 Month Scare!

On his 10 month "birthday" M and I had a little scare.

I went into the office to check something and left him happily playing in the front room- or so I thought. It was a rare moment when the other children were all outside.

When I heard a noise followed by crying, I went to investigate . . . and found the 10 month old on the fourth stair step, head down, with his legs on the fifth step. He had climbed the stairs and fallen!

Last I knew, he couldn't climb stairs. Things change so quickly around here.