Just a congratulations post for my dear, sweet sister Cara and her husband Danny and their precious new baby Isla!
The little island girl gave my sister quite a hard time yesterday. Cara called me early in the morning (6 am for her in CA- unheard of!) and was having painful contractions and vomiting. I prayed for her on and off all day and expected to hear at any time that her baby girl was born. It was after 9 pm last night that we finally heard the happy news. I can imagine my sister's exhaustion and joy. We are celebrating with them from a distance!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
Three Months In
Not so many posts lately because Mr M is rolling over. He generally was sleeping on his tummy (I know, I know), but now he rolls over to his back and is startled by having his hands free. As he learns to settle himself again and he aims his fingers toward his mouth (the same two- or three- as T), I am spending more time dashing up and down the stairs, trying to pay attention to all fronts at once. To say the least, I'm a bit scattered.
But oh, such delight and such fun! He is wonderful. Such an easy boy to enjoy because he smiles easily, calms himself, and enjoys laying around watching everyone (or on his mat). L, T, and I can't seem to get enough of him, and the days are flying by so quickly!
But oh, such delight and such fun! He is wonderful. Such an easy boy to enjoy because he smiles easily, calms himself, and enjoys laying around watching everyone (or on his mat). L, T, and I can't seem to get enough of him, and the days are flying by so quickly!
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
Difficult Situation or Demonstration?
"Our trials are great opportunities, but all too often we simply see them as large obstacles. If only we would recognize every difficult situation as something God has chosen to prove His love to us, each obstacle would then become a place of shelter and rest, and a demonstration to others of His inexpressible powers." A.B. Simpson (from Streams in the Desert)
Our "trial" right now seems small. We are waiting for our house to sell, packing up (very slowly) and cleaning out and preparing to move. My heart is tempted to look at all of this as work and as difficulty and challenge. How much happier our next weeks will be if I can look at this as shelter and rest! We will choose to look for God's proven love in this and believe that His powers can be shown even in the details of our life.
What I'm doing: sorting out clothes, packing books, making phone calls and helping with friends' kids; and all the normal life stuff (e.g. dishes, laundry, picking up).
What the kids are doing: unwrapping four rolls of wrapping paper (T); using yarn to tie the bedroom door to the banister so that it won't open (?); building a fire pit in the backyard, starting with digging up the grass with a shovel (O and R); coloring on the chair in the den (L); shaking water from a water bottle over the living room floor (T); painting sticks with oil paint, calling them "Halloween sticks" (all); unloading the basement wardrobe so it could be a fort (O,R, L).
Our "trial" right now seems small. We are waiting for our house to sell, packing up (very slowly) and cleaning out and preparing to move. My heart is tempted to look at all of this as work and as difficulty and challenge. How much happier our next weeks will be if I can look at this as shelter and rest! We will choose to look for God's proven love in this and believe that His powers can be shown even in the details of our life.
What I'm doing: sorting out clothes, packing books, making phone calls and helping with friends' kids; and all the normal life stuff (e.g. dishes, laundry, picking up).
What the kids are doing: unwrapping four rolls of wrapping paper (T); using yarn to tie the bedroom door to the banister so that it won't open (?); building a fire pit in the backyard, starting with digging up the grass with a shovel (O and R); coloring on the chair in the den (L); shaking water from a water bottle over the living room floor (T); painting sticks with oil paint, calling them "Halloween sticks" (all); unloading the basement wardrobe so it could be a fort (O,R, L).
Monday, July 26, 2010
The Salary Reality
Today B sent me this from Instapundit:
"LAW SCHOOL GRADUATES face a bimodal salary curve. We used to call this a “brassiere curve” back when i was in college, but that’s probably politically incorrect now. But you’ve got two humps — a lower one, where the salaries for most law school graduates cluster, and a much higher one, centered around what those who go to big firms make. The important thing, in calculating the risk/return ratio of time and money on law school, is figuring out which of the two you’re likely to end up in.
As Above The Law’s Elie Mystal notes, “A lot of wanna-be lawyers claim that they don’t even want to make $160K. Fine. But understand the curve. If you don’t make $160K, it’s not likely that you’ll make just a little bit less — say, $120K. It’s not likely that you’ll make the average; it’s not even likely that you’ll make the median. If you don’t win the $160K lottery, chances are you’ll be clumped into the left-hand side of the curve, earning somewhere between $30,000 and $60,000 a year. That’s the kind of pay that a lot of people can get without three years of post-graduate education and six figures of debt.”"
He then asked, "why didn't anyone tell me this before law school?" Ha. I think that's exactly the kind of information the law schools don't want you to know. And we didn't really even know anyone who was a practicing attorney that we could ask these kinds of questions of and hear what real life attorney life is like. We were pretty clueless four years ago when we started this venture, but we did know that B had a desire to pursue law and God was opening doors so that we could move forward. Maybe we should have done a bit more "research" (doesn't everyone research everything on the internet?).
It's a bit like this new venture. I don't know anything (really) about this job with the Attorney General. I don't know what to expect. But, again, I'm trusting that the Lord will take care of us through my husband and that He has been preparing the way and will guide us faithfully. Just as B needed to walk through the doors that were connected with his dream of being involved in government law, he now has new paths opened to him. We keep walking (and I have to trust a lot because I don't have time for much "research" these days).
Our house is officially on the market and we are starting to pack boxes. If the house sells and we can close by the end of August, we'll move with B. That's incredibly quick! If that crazy scenario doesn't play out, I will stay in Lynchburg with the kids until the house does sell. There are SO many houses on the market right now. We know many people who have had houses on the market for a year or more. That is definitely not what I want to think about. I know that the Lord is good, regardless. And He has been gracious with us as we are learning. Because of all we have lived through in the past four years, we are absolutely committed not to incur further debt and we value our family relationships as infinitely precious. Maybe the salary isn't what we hoped. Maybe this journey is going to involve more moves. Maybe we'll keep downsizing. Maybe we'll be separated.
When there is so much we don't know, I'm glad that we serve a God who isn't pulsed by a bimodal salary curve. He graciously continues His care for our family. We praise Him!
"LAW SCHOOL GRADUATES face a bimodal salary curve. We used to call this a “brassiere curve” back when i was in college, but that’s probably politically incorrect now. But you’ve got two humps — a lower one, where the salaries for most law school graduates cluster, and a much higher one, centered around what those who go to big firms make. The important thing, in calculating the risk/return ratio of time and money on law school, is figuring out which of the two you’re likely to end up in.
As Above The Law’s Elie Mystal notes, “A lot of wanna-be lawyers claim that they don’t even want to make $160K. Fine. But understand the curve. If you don’t make $160K, it’s not likely that you’ll make just a little bit less — say, $120K. It’s not likely that you’ll make the average; it’s not even likely that you’ll make the median. If you don’t win the $160K lottery, chances are you’ll be clumped into the left-hand side of the curve, earning somewhere between $30,000 and $60,000 a year. That’s the kind of pay that a lot of people can get without three years of post-graduate education and six figures of debt.”"
He then asked, "why didn't anyone tell me this before law school?" Ha. I think that's exactly the kind of information the law schools don't want you to know. And we didn't really even know anyone who was a practicing attorney that we could ask these kinds of questions of and hear what real life attorney life is like. We were pretty clueless four years ago when we started this venture, but we did know that B had a desire to pursue law and God was opening doors so that we could move forward. Maybe we should have done a bit more "research" (doesn't everyone research everything on the internet?).
It's a bit like this new venture. I don't know anything (really) about this job with the Attorney General. I don't know what to expect. But, again, I'm trusting that the Lord will take care of us through my husband and that He has been preparing the way and will guide us faithfully. Just as B needed to walk through the doors that were connected with his dream of being involved in government law, he now has new paths opened to him. We keep walking (and I have to trust a lot because I don't have time for much "research" these days).
Our house is officially on the market and we are starting to pack boxes. If the house sells and we can close by the end of August, we'll move with B. That's incredibly quick! If that crazy scenario doesn't play out, I will stay in Lynchburg with the kids until the house does sell. There are SO many houses on the market right now. We know many people who have had houses on the market for a year or more. That is definitely not what I want to think about. I know that the Lord is good, regardless. And He has been gracious with us as we are learning. Because of all we have lived through in the past four years, we are absolutely committed not to incur further debt and we value our family relationships as infinitely precious. Maybe the salary isn't what we hoped. Maybe this journey is going to involve more moves. Maybe we'll keep downsizing. Maybe we'll be separated.
When there is so much we don't know, I'm glad that we serve a God who isn't pulsed by a bimodal salary curve. He graciously continues His care for our family. We praise Him!
Friday, July 23, 2010
One Year Later
Life is whirling past at a dizzying pace. See how the kids have changed in one year? M didn't make it in the photo this year ... mostly because the camera batteries were dying. I wasn't even sure I got any photos, so I was pleasantly surprised to find this on the camera when I downloaded photos today. And not only did I find last year's picture, but also 2008! These were taken at Tamarack in West Virginia, on our way back to VA from IL each summer.
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| 2008 |
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| 2009 |
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| 2010 |
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Establish the Work of Our Hands
Psalm 90:16-17
Let your work be shown to your servants,
And your glorious power to their children.
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us,
And establish the work of our hands upon us,
Yes, establish the work of our hands!
This was my Psalm today, the one my heart and mind revisited throughout the day. I'm looking to see the Lord's work. I know He is working, know He is already on top of the details of our move to Richmond. I know He has our good worked out and I know the end of the story. Yet, I'd like to see a bit of that work. I'd like to see a few of the ways He has gone before us and I'd like to talk about them around our dinner table, talking about His glorious power with our children.
That's what happened when we moved here. It was a God-story of selling our home quickly (for our asking price) in an unfavorable market and finding a new home in a few days and watching the details work out just so. We talked about it a lot as a family and it gave us courage in this new place on the new law school adventure to know that God was for us and was working everything out better than we could have dreamed.
We think that now, too. We marvel at this particular street we live on, with these particular neighbors (one of whom is B's boss!). Clearly, this was the Lord's doing.
And I want to see that again, want my confidence to be bolstered, want the assurance that we aren't going to mess everything up and that we won't be out there on our own.
B is very excited about his new job (when he can see past the work of moving). Oh, I have a sense about it. May the Lord establish his work! May it be prepared for him and may it be a good work, enduring, significant.
My work seems ambiguous to me right now in a way it hasn't before. What is the work that God has established for me? Clearly, it is to raise children in this season. But what else does He deem worthy of my time and effort? He hasn't apportioned too much; there is no such thing. Would that I could see with a broad perspective what work He would establish for me.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Applied Thinking II
As I'm working my way through The 4:8 Principle (Tommy Newberry), I'm thinking and trying to change my thinking, seeking to apply the principles I'm learning. I'm making an effort to put things down on paper, seeking to have the joy-filled life. This week is chapter 3 and the summary is that JOY doesn't come from our circumstances, but comes from the inside out. Therefore, if I am thinking gratitude thoughts, if I am thinking on things that are lovely and pure and excellent, I will change my reality because I will be looking for the good things around me and in so doing, I will be changed. This is the same principle Ann Voskamp has on her blog, and I'm still slowly working my way up to 1000 things I'm grateful for. BUT, I'm so glad to say that I'm pretty consistently adding to my list, nearly every Monday (which isn't all that often) . . . and that's something to be happy about.
181) Growing and stretching my mind
182) A box of boy clothes from a friend
183) Bleached blond locks bouncing on the trampoline
184) New friends
185) Phone messages of grace
186) Trim paint touched up and looking clean again
187) Sweet, clean baby smell
188) Finding another character trait to be thankful for- consistency!
189) Swimming parties
190) Baby breath (my most favorite smell)
191) Our van, having very few repairs needed
192) Old friends, and knowing what to expect (anything Gayle does is done excellently)
193) Safe friends to be vulnerable with
194) Friends in a common season. Hearing, "it's just the age" did wonders for my outlook.
195) One skirt that fits and flatters (thanks, Mom!)
196) Really good chocolate (thanks, Alison!)
197) A respectable husband's good work
198) Neighbors encouraging our boys' desire to earn for missionaries
199) Newly caulked bath tub (so glad the mold is finally gone)
200) Orange watermelon
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181) Growing and stretching my mind
182) A box of boy clothes from a friend
183) Bleached blond locks bouncing on the trampoline
184) New friends
185) Phone messages of grace
186) Trim paint touched up and looking clean again
187) Sweet, clean baby smell
188) Finding another character trait to be thankful for- consistency!
189) Swimming parties
190) Baby breath (my most favorite smell)
191) Our van, having very few repairs needed
192) Old friends, and knowing what to expect (anything Gayle does is done excellently)
193) Safe friends to be vulnerable with
194) Friends in a common season. Hearing, "it's just the age" did wonders for my outlook.
195) One skirt that fits and flatters (thanks, Mom!)
196) Really good chocolate (thanks, Alison!)
197) A respectable husband's good work
198) Neighbors encouraging our boys' desire to earn for missionaries
199) Newly caulked bath tub (so glad the mold is finally gone)
200) Orange watermelon
Nutritional Impact (specifically on Infertility, Pregnancy)
The kids are in Vacation Bible School this week, so I was home with M this morning. While he nursed, I watched a fabulous webinar on pregnancy, infertility, and nutrition for life. Most of this I had heard before, but Denise Romney highlighted some studies and facts I found staggering. (Do you know about PQQ?) So, here is your nutrition education for the week!
From Womb to World: Good Nutrition From the Start
From Womb to World: Good Nutrition From the Start
Friday, July 16, 2010
Another Morning
This week I took R(6) and T (2) for well visits (to establish patient care with our new doctor- with whom I am very happy!- before we move). Found out that T has a yeast infection causing red, flaking skin on his privates. R, she thinks, has chicken pox. Since we had already been in the waiting area, the bathroom, and the entire wing of patient rooms, we effectively shut down the pediatrician's office until they could sanitize. We went from there to the lab for blood work on R to confirm chicken pox. It was a long morning!
Yesterday I was reading Bible to the bigger kids and T went upstairs for something. I was actually a bit relieved; often keeping 5 children quiet and still is more than I can do. I did wonder what he was doing. Then, when he did start down the stairs, he was crying. His privates hurt. So, I took him to the bathroom to apply more Greer's Goo (soothes and helps with the yeast).
I noticed the toilet paper roll was empty. Uh-oh. He must have been using the potty earlier. I know that roll was nearly full. "That's okay," I told myself, "it's just one roll of toilet paper."
I helped T put his clothes and shoes on and had everyone headed to the van to run our errands (pick up more medicine for T, library, market), whereupon things deteriorated even more. T wouldn't allow O to buckle him because his bum hurt. When I went back to try, I realized that the situation was not going to work and therefore, we all unloaded and went back into the house as I scrambled in my mind to think of what would help.
The goo didn't help and T was itching and crying inconsolably, so I put him into a cool bath and called the pediatrician. When I turned around, I noticed a huge pile of toilet paper on the floor. Uh-oh. "Well, good," I told myself, "that roll wasn't entirely wasted. We can still use this."
That's when I glanced into the wastebasket. . . and saw SIX empty toilet paper tubes (and one more still hanging forelornley on the wall). Uh-oh.
And M (2 months), was still strapped in his carseat and crying from downstairs. And L (5) had been expressly warned not to touch him. And the big boys, having nothing better to do, were chasing each other around and laughing.
It's moments like these that I should laugh, but I'm not an easy laugher. To my credit, I didn't cry, either. Just another day.
Yesterday I was reading Bible to the bigger kids and T went upstairs for something. I was actually a bit relieved; often keeping 5 children quiet and still is more than I can do. I did wonder what he was doing. Then, when he did start down the stairs, he was crying. His privates hurt. So, I took him to the bathroom to apply more Greer's Goo (soothes and helps with the yeast).
I noticed the toilet paper roll was empty. Uh-oh. He must have been using the potty earlier. I know that roll was nearly full. "That's okay," I told myself, "it's just one roll of toilet paper."
I helped T put his clothes and shoes on and had everyone headed to the van to run our errands (pick up more medicine for T, library, market), whereupon things deteriorated even more. T wouldn't allow O to buckle him because his bum hurt. When I went back to try, I realized that the situation was not going to work and therefore, we all unloaded and went back into the house as I scrambled in my mind to think of what would help.
The goo didn't help and T was itching and crying inconsolably, so I put him into a cool bath and called the pediatrician. When I turned around, I noticed a huge pile of toilet paper on the floor. Uh-oh. "Well, good," I told myself, "that roll wasn't entirely wasted. We can still use this."
That's when I glanced into the wastebasket. . . and saw SIX empty toilet paper tubes (and one more still hanging forelornley on the wall). Uh-oh.
And M (2 months), was still strapped in his carseat and crying from downstairs. And L (5) had been expressly warned not to touch him. And the big boys, having nothing better to do, were chasing each other around and laughing.
It's moments like these that I should laugh, but I'm not an easy laugher. To my credit, I didn't cry, either. Just another day.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Back Stroking
So many times today I felt like I was gasping for air. (And forgive me because I don't seem to be able to articulate well. Thoughts don't seem to join into sentences the way I intend.)
I'm not much of a swimmer; don't feel completely comfortable in the water, don't love it. I can't even float well. About the only thing I like to do is the backstroke, because my face is (mostly) out of the water and I can breathe, look around (sky is particularly beautiful) and move without such effort.
That's how I feel. . . as if just my face is out of the water and I'm moving, because if I don't move, I'll sink. I'm not comfortable, it's not pretty, and I'm not making much progress. The water laps around my head and I feel how close it is to covering me. I'm happy that it's not and yet I can't really totally relax, either.
I'm gasping for grace. I'm moving through the day, slowly, and it's not pretty, and yet I keep going because I have to. I can't get enough grace in. I just want to breathe in deeply, inhale great lungfuls of God's peace and assurance. I'm humbled, recognizing so many weaknesses in all my life. So needy, so needy I feel.
Move to Richmond. Keep breathing, stay afloat. Nurse the baby. Teach the kids. Love my husband. Invest in people. Pray. Make food. Clean up. Breathe, move. Run. Work. Love. Cry. Feel the waves, the water holding me and breathe, because my face is still in the air and the grace above me stretches forever.
I'm not much of a swimmer; don't feel completely comfortable in the water, don't love it. I can't even float well. About the only thing I like to do is the backstroke, because my face is (mostly) out of the water and I can breathe, look around (sky is particularly beautiful) and move without such effort.
That's how I feel. . . as if just my face is out of the water and I'm moving, because if I don't move, I'll sink. I'm not comfortable, it's not pretty, and I'm not making much progress. The water laps around my head and I feel how close it is to covering me. I'm happy that it's not and yet I can't really totally relax, either.
I'm gasping for grace. I'm moving through the day, slowly, and it's not pretty, and yet I keep going because I have to. I can't get enough grace in. I just want to breathe in deeply, inhale great lungfuls of God's peace and assurance. I'm humbled, recognizing so many weaknesses in all my life. So needy, so needy I feel.
Move to Richmond. Keep breathing, stay afloat. Nurse the baby. Teach the kids. Love my husband. Invest in people. Pray. Make food. Clean up. Breathe, move. Run. Work. Love. Cry. Feel the waves, the water holding me and breathe, because my face is still in the air and the grace above me stretches forever.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The Farm
Isn't the sky amazing? So many greens all around and this humongous sky overhead. There is no where else I've been with such sky. Walking on that road that I've walked thousands of times, breathing deeply of the air. . . it just does something for my spirit.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Soaking Up Moments
Tonight as I walked around the block (just once 'cause it was getting dark and yet I needed to breathe in some sanity air), I wanted to soak in the moments and hold them up in me for just . . . a longer moment. Knowing that we'll be leaving this place has caused a melancholy and yet also a joy in me.
171) Smell of rain-soaked trees and ground
172) Familiar sight of the neighbor's white fence (I've always liked white picket)
172) Crepe Myrtle's bursting out Fourth of July- like blooms
173) Knowing the way without thinking about it
174) Dusky sky melting into darkness
175) Fireflies (still seem so fun)
176) An opportunity to reduce our debt
177) A job my husband is excited about
178) Less stuff; feeling more freedom from things
179) Chocolate chip cookies (they are just so good)
180) The sight of home as I round the corner
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171) Smell of rain-soaked trees and ground
172) Familiar sight of the neighbor's white fence (I've always liked white picket)
172) Crepe Myrtle's bursting out Fourth of July- like blooms
173) Knowing the way without thinking about it
174) Dusky sky melting into darkness
175) Fireflies (still seem so fun)
176) An opportunity to reduce our debt
177) A job my husband is excited about
178) Less stuff; feeling more freedom from things
179) Chocolate chip cookies (they are just so good)
180) The sight of home as I round the corner
Granola Two
I've been hard pressed to find another granola recipe that we like as well as the Wholly Granola. Now that it is summer we are eating granola with yogurt and fruit at least two mornings a week. This was reason enough for me to try some new recipes, though B insists, "Just stick with the one we like!" So, I will. But this recipe, adapted from Jill Elmore (The Family Chef), will take a turn, too. Yum!
Healthy Granola Two
5 cups rolled oats
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup milled flaxseed
1/2 cup sesame seeds
2 cups slivered almonds
2 cups whole pecans
1/2 tsp. sea salt
3/4 cup coconut oil
3/4 cup honey
2 cups (total) dried fruit: cranberries, raisins, cherries (optional)
1. Preheat oven to 325.
2. In a large mixing bowl, stir together all of the dry ingredients.
3. Heat the honey and oil in a small saucepan over medium-low heat until the honey is warm and runny.
4. Stir the honey and oil mixture into the dry ingredients.
5. Pour the granola onto one or two stoneware bar pans. (Stones are best for granola; you don't have to stir so much and they rarely burn. If you don't have stones, use two large sheet trays covered with parchment.)
6. Bake for 35-45 minutes, stirring occasionally so the edges don't brown too much. Remove from oven, stir in dried fruit, and let cool before storing in an airtight container.
Healthy Granola Two
5 cups rolled oats
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
1/2 cup milled flaxseed
1/2 cup sesame seeds
2 cups slivered almonds
2 cups whole pecans
1/2 tsp. sea salt
3/4 cup coconut oil
3/4 cup honey
2 cups (total) dried fruit: cranberries, raisins, cherries (optional)
1. Preheat oven to 325.
2. In a large mixing bowl, stir together all of the dry ingredients.
3. Heat the honey and oil in a small saucepan over medium-low heat until the honey is warm and runny.
4. Stir the honey and oil mixture into the dry ingredients.
5. Pour the granola onto one or two stoneware bar pans. (Stones are best for granola; you don't have to stir so much and they rarely burn. If you don't have stones, use two large sheet trays covered with parchment.)
6. Bake for 35-45 minutes, stirring occasionally so the edges don't brown too much. Remove from oven, stir in dried fruit, and let cool before storing in an airtight container.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Decision Time
Ya'll are so sweet to be concerned about me when I whine and let my weaknesses be known. I don't intend to make people feel sorry for me, I just want to be transparent about what is going on in our family and how much I need Jesus. If I need Him and I know it and everyone else knows it, then He gets the glory when any good happens, right?
B is supposed to let the AG's office know tomorrow whether he is accepting the position.
We've continued to talk about it today, though mostly we thought about it and didn't talk too much. When we do try to talk (such as during our family walk on the Blackwater trail tonight), it is hard to keep a train of thought for the interruptions.
When my perspective is all about my husband's good, I want him to take the job. Honestly, I'm a bit excited by the opportunity to sell our house and some belongings and to live even more frugally- so that we can really hack away at our debt. If we did this hard thing (moving) and it means we could be in a totally different financial place in a few years, then I think it is worth doing. B and I have agreed that we want to be "FREE to give, FREE to go, FREE to grow." Eliminating our debt is key and if this could be a dramatic step to propel us, I am for it. Stick us in something small for awhile; we'll be okay.
The kids heard me say this tonight, "I've lived in an orphanage in El Salvador, in a Figian village, in an Australian apartment, in a hostel in New Zealand. I've lived in a one room dorm apartment, with three ladies in a one room apartment, I've lived in a city and I've lived on a farm. It's okay. Wherever I am, there I am." They thought it was pretty neat that I've lived so many places (even though some of those were very brief). It was a good reminder for me that wherever I am, it becomes my new reality and it is always fine.
We may give up our backyard and our trampoline and our garden and our sidewalk and our office and our screened porch and our wonderful neighbors and all that is familiar and good to us here in Lynchburg.
And it will be okay if we do, for the Lord has promised that He goes before us, that He loves us, that He is providing for everything we need for life and godliness. Everything else is wasting away anyway. What a good reminder for me to invest more in relationships and in things of lasting value.
We shall see what B decides. Either way, my heart is open and trusting.
B is supposed to let the AG's office know tomorrow whether he is accepting the position.
We've continued to talk about it today, though mostly we thought about it and didn't talk too much. When we do try to talk (such as during our family walk on the Blackwater trail tonight), it is hard to keep a train of thought for the interruptions.
When my perspective is all about my husband's good, I want him to take the job. Honestly, I'm a bit excited by the opportunity to sell our house and some belongings and to live even more frugally- so that we can really hack away at our debt. If we did this hard thing (moving) and it means we could be in a totally different financial place in a few years, then I think it is worth doing. B and I have agreed that we want to be "FREE to give, FREE to go, FREE to grow." Eliminating our debt is key and if this could be a dramatic step to propel us, I am for it. Stick us in something small for awhile; we'll be okay.
The kids heard me say this tonight, "I've lived in an orphanage in El Salvador, in a Figian village, in an Australian apartment, in a hostel in New Zealand. I've lived in a one room dorm apartment, with three ladies in a one room apartment, I've lived in a city and I've lived on a farm. It's okay. Wherever I am, there I am." They thought it was pretty neat that I've lived so many places (even though some of those were very brief). It was a good reminder for me that wherever I am, it becomes my new reality and it is always fine.
We may give up our backyard and our trampoline and our garden and our sidewalk and our office and our screened porch and our wonderful neighbors and all that is familiar and good to us here in Lynchburg.
And it will be okay if we do, for the Lord has promised that He goes before us, that He loves us, that He is providing for everything we need for life and godliness. Everything else is wasting away anyway. What a good reminder for me to invest more in relationships and in things of lasting value.
We shall see what B decides. Either way, my heart is open and trusting.
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Looking . . . and Waiting
I don't really have words to adequately explain all I am thinking and feeling. It has been a very full week.
B was offered a job working for the Attorney General. He is very excited about job and the opportunity to work for Ken Cuccinelli. He has always wanted to be involved in government and because he thinks highly of Cuccinelli, it would be an especially fun position for him. Yay!
The job does not pay as much as we hoped it would. It is slightly higher than what B currently earns. Richmond's cost of living is approximately 10% higher than Lynchburg. . . so we are wondering if it is financially feasible for us to accept the job and move to Richmond. We have been working aggressively at our debt, but more law school loans are coming due and we wonder if we can possibly cinch our belts any tighter. The lists of savings and expenses are being tallied (health care will be much cheaper for us!), but it is really close.
If he doesn't take the job, I think he will always wonder why he didn't. He wants to take the job, but also wants to make the best decision for our family. (I am so blessed to have this wonderful God-honoring husband!) So we are waiting on the Lord and looking for Him to show us what He wants us to do.
In this spirit, we frantically prepared our home yesterday for friends of friends' to walk through today. We haven't listed our home, so this seemed like an amazing God-thing. B installed a ceiling fan in the office. I organized and cleaned . . . and grew weary when I had a fussy baby and couldn't do housework. It took a great deal of effort to have everything cleaned up last night and prepared so that we could leave the house impeccable (or as impeccable as it can be for a house of seven!) this morning. What a trial for my heart! I would feel good about things (after all, they look better than they have for months!), but then I would feel anxious (things don't look as good as I would like!). It required effort to continually redirect my thoughts to truths: God loves us. He cares about our family's wellfare. He can cause people to see and not see things. He can sell our house without us even listing it. He can sell our house whenever He deems best. He knows best and we do not. (Still! Wouldn't it just be SO awesome to sell our house without hardly even trying?!)
Yeah. That couple put in a contract on a different house today and didn't even look at ours.
It's a little deflating. (But- yay! Our house is pretty darn clean.)
AND. We spent the entire day driving around Richmond, looking at rental homes. Our purpose: determine the amount we need to expect to pay in rent. Get an idea of what neighborhoods are like and which area of Richmond we may want to live in. B was hoping I would get a "good feeling." I was hoping I might get even a little excited about moving. We were hoping that God would confirm to us whether or not we should move forward and accept the job offer.
We took everyone with us. It didn't go as I had planned. People were hungry (even though we JUST ate breakfast). People were thirsty (because water had been dumped onto people, into a carseat, and into the cup holders). People were tired and it seemed that they could only sleep in between two houses that were only 5 minutes apart (= not good sleep!). M cried and cried and cried. I nursed as I normally do (about every 3 hours during the day), but he wasn't happy and couldn't seem to nap. So, I nursed him to settle him to help him nap. But then I couldn't tell if he was crying because he was hungry or tired or just completely overstimulated. . .
I was. I was completely over stimulated. On our drive home (9 hours after we left home!), I was literally squeezing my eyes shut and begging Jesus to help me hang on . . . to any shred of sanity which remained. M cried for hours today. It rips my heart and wears me down so. I felt angry and helpless and trapped in a van full of people. And it reminded me of our trip to/from Il, which was too recent for me to appreciate that it was nearly a month ago.
And we're a little deflated. We didn't like much of what we saw. (Can I say hardly anything?) It will definitely be more expensive than we had hoped, unless we really choose something older or sketchier. (Do you know what I mean?) The thing is, I love my home here. And I'm selfishly wanting somewhere else to live that I'll love, too. I know that renting something not so nice will be good for our budget and help us get out of debt faster, and I really do want that. But I'm not getting excited about it the way I want to be.
So, I know I'm whining. What I really want is to be looking for the Lord to show up and waiting patiently for Him. I'm not. But I want to. I need help in all my fleshly weakness. If this is good for my husband and good for our family, I don't want to balk. Part of me wants to joyfully surrender to circumstances that are less than lovely for the sake of long-term gain. Some of me is looking and waiting. The rest of me is sitting here crying and soon headed for bed.
B was offered a job working for the Attorney General. He is very excited about job and the opportunity to work for Ken Cuccinelli. He has always wanted to be involved in government and because he thinks highly of Cuccinelli, it would be an especially fun position for him. Yay!
The job does not pay as much as we hoped it would. It is slightly higher than what B currently earns. Richmond's cost of living is approximately 10% higher than Lynchburg. . . so we are wondering if it is financially feasible for us to accept the job and move to Richmond. We have been working aggressively at our debt, but more law school loans are coming due and we wonder if we can possibly cinch our belts any tighter. The lists of savings and expenses are being tallied (health care will be much cheaper for us!), but it is really close.
If he doesn't take the job, I think he will always wonder why he didn't. He wants to take the job, but also wants to make the best decision for our family. (I am so blessed to have this wonderful God-honoring husband!) So we are waiting on the Lord and looking for Him to show us what He wants us to do.
In this spirit, we frantically prepared our home yesterday for friends of friends' to walk through today. We haven't listed our home, so this seemed like an amazing God-thing. B installed a ceiling fan in the office. I organized and cleaned . . . and grew weary when I had a fussy baby and couldn't do housework. It took a great deal of effort to have everything cleaned up last night and prepared so that we could leave the house impeccable (or as impeccable as it can be for a house of seven!) this morning. What a trial for my heart! I would feel good about things (after all, they look better than they have for months!), but then I would feel anxious (things don't look as good as I would like!). It required effort to continually redirect my thoughts to truths: God loves us. He cares about our family's wellfare. He can cause people to see and not see things. He can sell our house without us even listing it. He can sell our house whenever He deems best. He knows best and we do not. (Still! Wouldn't it just be SO awesome to sell our house without hardly even trying?!)
Yeah. That couple put in a contract on a different house today and didn't even look at ours.
It's a little deflating. (But- yay! Our house is pretty darn clean.)
AND. We spent the entire day driving around Richmond, looking at rental homes. Our purpose: determine the amount we need to expect to pay in rent. Get an idea of what neighborhoods are like and which area of Richmond we may want to live in. B was hoping I would get a "good feeling." I was hoping I might get even a little excited about moving. We were hoping that God would confirm to us whether or not we should move forward and accept the job offer.
We took everyone with us. It didn't go as I had planned. People were hungry (even though we JUST ate breakfast). People were thirsty (because water had been dumped onto people, into a carseat, and into the cup holders). People were tired and it seemed that they could only sleep in between two houses that were only 5 minutes apart (= not good sleep!). M cried and cried and cried. I nursed as I normally do (about every 3 hours during the day), but he wasn't happy and couldn't seem to nap. So, I nursed him to settle him to help him nap. But then I couldn't tell if he was crying because he was hungry or tired or just completely overstimulated. . .
I was. I was completely over stimulated. On our drive home (9 hours after we left home!), I was literally squeezing my eyes shut and begging Jesus to help me hang on . . . to any shred of sanity which remained. M cried for hours today. It rips my heart and wears me down so. I felt angry and helpless and trapped in a van full of people. And it reminded me of our trip to/from Il, which was too recent for me to appreciate that it was nearly a month ago.
And we're a little deflated. We didn't like much of what we saw. (Can I say hardly anything?) It will definitely be more expensive than we had hoped, unless we really choose something older or sketchier. (Do you know what I mean?) The thing is, I love my home here. And I'm selfishly wanting somewhere else to live that I'll love, too. I know that renting something not so nice will be good for our budget and help us get out of debt faster, and I really do want that. But I'm not getting excited about it the way I want to be.
So, I know I'm whining. What I really want is to be looking for the Lord to show up and waiting patiently for Him. I'm not. But I want to. I need help in all my fleshly weakness. If this is good for my husband and good for our family, I don't want to balk. Part of me wants to joyfully surrender to circumstances that are less than lovely for the sake of long-term gain. Some of me is looking and waiting. The rest of me is sitting here crying and soon headed for bed.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Not Murmuring
"Help us not only to receive Him but
to walk in Him,
depend upon Him,
commune with Him,
follow him as dear children,
imperfect, but still pressing forward,
not complaining of labour, but valuing rest,
not murmuring under trials, but thankful for our state.
And by so doing let us silence the ignorance of foolish men."
(The Valley of Vision pg. 217)
Imperfect. . . with the same towels on the line that I put out three days ago. Clothes in the dryer from yesterday, too. Meals to be made but for one ingredient missing, waiting for another trip to another store. Father's Day card still clipped in my day planner. Clothes forgotten at a friend's home (my undergarments! gasp!). Slip ups and spills and glaring errors on my part.
Laboring on. Helping the children master their chores, overcoming their own desires for self-preservation and self-care. Making meals. Doing laundry as I can. Planning another year of homeschooling. Meeting with friends, establishing relationships. Sharing health education consistently and intentionally. Praying for my family and friends. Nursing through the night.
Let me not murmur, though I am tired, though things are not all tidy as I would like them. May I be thankful and choose to give thanks all day today, through it all. When I look around at the chipped paint of our house and the laundry on the line and the "mud bombs" on the picnic table . . . may Jesus draw me to give praise. I'm looking for JOY. As I think about our possible, impending move, may I be filled with praise and not fear nor murmuring. Let me be thankful for this state I am in, that it may cause me to walk in Him, depend on Him, commune with Him, and follow Him as the little child that I am.
to walk in Him,
depend upon Him,
commune with Him,
follow him as dear children,
imperfect, but still pressing forward,
not complaining of labour, but valuing rest,
not murmuring under trials, but thankful for our state.
And by so doing let us silence the ignorance of foolish men."
(The Valley of Vision pg. 217)
Imperfect. . . with the same towels on the line that I put out three days ago. Clothes in the dryer from yesterday, too. Meals to be made but for one ingredient missing, waiting for another trip to another store. Father's Day card still clipped in my day planner. Clothes forgotten at a friend's home (my undergarments! gasp!). Slip ups and spills and glaring errors on my part.
Laboring on. Helping the children master their chores, overcoming their own desires for self-preservation and self-care. Making meals. Doing laundry as I can. Planning another year of homeschooling. Meeting with friends, establishing relationships. Sharing health education consistently and intentionally. Praying for my family and friends. Nursing through the night.
Let me not murmur, though I am tired, though things are not all tidy as I would like them. May I be thankful and choose to give thanks all day today, through it all. When I look around at the chipped paint of our house and the laundry on the line and the "mud bombs" on the picnic table . . . may Jesus draw me to give praise. I'm looking for JOY. As I think about our possible, impending move, may I be filled with praise and not fear nor murmuring. Let me be thankful for this state I am in, that it may cause me to walk in Him, depend on Him, commune with Him, and follow Him as the little child that I am.
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
Mangoes
Today we had yogurt with homemade granola and fruit for lunch.
The kids were arguing over who liked mangoes the most (they were totally delicious!).
L settled it all with her final statement, "Well I like mangoes almost as much as chocolate."
There you have it.
The kids were arguing over who liked mangoes the most (they were totally delicious!).
L settled it all with her final statement, "Well I like mangoes almost as much as chocolate."
There you have it.
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Applied Thinking
I am currently reading The 4:8 Principle by Tommy Newberry. This excites me because it has been on my "want to read" list for a very long time. I've noticed that I have slipped into some negative patterns of thinking and am not effectively taking every thought captive for Christ. How perfect to read this book at this time; Tommy Newberry's book's theme is Philippians 4:8.
"Finally, brethren, whatever things are TRUE, whatever things are NOBLE, whatever things are JUST, whatever things are PURE, whatever things are LOVELY, whatever things are OF GOOD REPORT, if there is any VIRTUE and if there is anything PRAISEWORHTY- meditate on these things." (NKJV)
As a communications major in college, I remember well the importance of "language and thought" (thanks Doc!). Our thoughts are powerful forces, exhibited in the way we talk and the way we live. If we can control (or bridle) our thoughts (Paul calls this "taking them captive"), we effect not only the way we respond to the world around us, but what is happening to us. In one way, it's like changing our lenses and putting on the proverbial rose-colored glasses. . . things look better to us. . .
And right about here I completely lose my train of thought.
SO... the gist of the first two chapters is that we ought to ask ourselves 4:8 questions in the morning and in the evening, "redirecting your thoughts onto what is worthwhile, constructive, and joy producing" (pg 33). I'm all about growing JOY.
Here are The 4:8 Principle questions that I am asking myself daily:
1)What are 5 things I am grateful for right now?
2) What are 5 of my strengths or positive traits?
3) What are 5 of my best achievements so far?
4) Who are the 5 people who love me the most?
5) What are 5 things I am looking forward to in the next 5 days?
And so you know that I'm really trying to do this... I'll give you some of my answers tonight.
Grateful for:
159) Cool summer breeze
160) Sound of locusts
161) Chubby baby legs
162) A haircut
163) Farmer's market veggies
Strengths or positive traits:
164) Desire to learn, grow and change
165) Encouraging words
Um... that's about it...
Looking forward to:
166) Watching the kids watching fireworks
167) Sitting with my husband during fireworks
168) Pool party with friends
169) Pavlovas (remind me of Australia)
170) Tomatoes from our garden
"Finally, brethren, whatever things are TRUE, whatever things are NOBLE, whatever things are JUST, whatever things are PURE, whatever things are LOVELY, whatever things are OF GOOD REPORT, if there is any VIRTUE and if there is anything PRAISEWORHTY- meditate on these things." (NKJV)
As a communications major in college, I remember well the importance of "language and thought" (thanks Doc!). Our thoughts are powerful forces, exhibited in the way we talk and the way we live. If we can control (or bridle) our thoughts (Paul calls this "taking them captive"), we effect not only the way we respond to the world around us, but what is happening to us. In one way, it's like changing our lenses and putting on the proverbial rose-colored glasses. . . things look better to us. . .
And right about here I completely lose my train of thought.
SO... the gist of the first two chapters is that we ought to ask ourselves 4:8 questions in the morning and in the evening, "redirecting your thoughts onto what is worthwhile, constructive, and joy producing" (pg 33). I'm all about growing JOY.
Here are The 4:8 Principle questions that I am asking myself daily:
1)What are 5 things I am grateful for right now?
2) What are 5 of my strengths or positive traits?
3) What are 5 of my best achievements so far?
4) Who are the 5 people who love me the most?
5) What are 5 things I am looking forward to in the next 5 days?
And so you know that I'm really trying to do this... I'll give you some of my answers tonight.
Grateful for:
159) Cool summer breeze
160) Sound of locusts
161) Chubby baby legs
162) A haircut
163) Farmer's market veggies
Strengths or positive traits:
164) Desire to learn, grow and change
165) Encouraging words
Um... that's about it...
Looking forward to:
166) Watching the kids watching fireworks
167) Sitting with my husband during fireworks
168) Pool party with friends
169) Pavlovas (remind me of Australia)
170) Tomatoes from our garden
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