When he was 2, he said, "Mom, why did you make this?!" (to beans on toast, understandably)
At 8, he says, "When I smell this it makes me feel like my stomach is coming up through my esophagus." (Though I thought that noodles with spicy peanut sauce and grated fresh veggies was tasty, indeed.)
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Just With Dad
We went to a BBQ and Kickball get together with friends last night.
On the way home the boys were enthusiastically discussing the kickball game: the score, the highlights, the teams... all the things boys love. Three hours prior they didn't even know what kickball was. They haven't played a team game for years (since one soccer stint in FL!) It was clear that they were really pumped up by such a wonderful evening. . . which made my heart glad, too.
L (5) at one point added her opinion: "I don't like kickball. I just wanted to be with Daddy."
This caused me to smile. Today I'm still reflecting on it. I have a snapshot in my mind from last night: B in the outfield with L by his side and T (2) laying in the grass near his feet. (I don't have many snapshots of the night because not only did I walk down to the field with M (2 mo) in the Bjorn, but I walked back to the house with L so she could use the restroom... back to the field... back to the house with T to use the restroom... back to the field.. back to the house. That was the entire game!)
I love that L just wanted to be with him. When we love someone, we are willing to do things we don't care to do, just to be with them. Am I loving my husband like this? Loving my Savior?
On the way home the boys were enthusiastically discussing the kickball game: the score, the highlights, the teams... all the things boys love. Three hours prior they didn't even know what kickball was. They haven't played a team game for years (since one soccer stint in FL!) It was clear that they were really pumped up by such a wonderful evening. . . which made my heart glad, too.
L (5) at one point added her opinion: "I don't like kickball. I just wanted to be with Daddy."
This caused me to smile. Today I'm still reflecting on it. I have a snapshot in my mind from last night: B in the outfield with L by his side and T (2) laying in the grass near his feet. (I don't have many snapshots of the night because not only did I walk down to the field with M (2 mo) in the Bjorn, but I walked back to the house with L so she could use the restroom... back to the field... back to the house with T to use the restroom... back to the field.. back to the house. That was the entire game!)
I love that L just wanted to be with him. When we love someone, we are willing to do things we don't care to do, just to be with them. Am I loving my husband like this? Loving my Savior?
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
It's SO Worth It
Little drooly moments like this, little savory seconds like this make it all worth it. I love that M has started smiling and cooing (at 6 weeks).
I'm Already Forgetting
By the end of the day, I can't remember much about the day. I suspect that is somewhat intentional, though unconscious. Case in point:
I went in to the boys' bedroom tonight to apologize for some unkind words I used today. O and R graciously accepted my apology, but then asked me why I called the crayon "stupid" today. I looked at them blankly, my mind scrolling back through the shattered memory I have of today's events.
I remember T hammering a yellow crayon into the rug this morning... but I'm sure I didn't say "stupid" about that.... I was definitely more irritated when I told R, "I don't CARE about the crayon." Oh. The crayon... must have been the "stupid crayon." Yes. I do remember that comment (which was actually the one I came in to apologize for). I have no excuse. The boys have a blow up crayon that is highly amusing to them, and frustrating to me (because it's being used as a weapon, of course).
My flesh is weak. I'm tired and emotional and feeling incapable of making it througha day a morning- or an hour. I'm losing my temper and my illusion of righteousness apart from Christ.
Then... there are other moments I'd like to forget, too. After showing up a few minutes late to our dr. appointments yesterday I had to embarrassingly admit that I didn't have our new insurance cards. What a big deal that was! I knew better. After that glaring incompetence, I took T (2) to the bathroom, with M in his carseat, while the other children played. I wonder if the nurses/receptionists heard the monologue that I heard (and imagined they did, too!).
T: Wow! I like this bathroom.
It's pretty nice.
I like the white and the potty.
Look! The paper is by the floor!
I need to have doodoos.
That's a big daddy doodoo.
We don't eat doodoos.
They taste bad on our tongue.
Yeah. So even if our bellies like them, we don't eat them.
We eat watermelon.
These are shorts, not pants. I like shorts.
And so much more... but I'm already forgetting.
I went in to the boys' bedroom tonight to apologize for some unkind words I used today. O and R graciously accepted my apology, but then asked me why I called the crayon "stupid" today. I looked at them blankly, my mind scrolling back through the shattered memory I have of today's events.
I remember T hammering a yellow crayon into the rug this morning... but I'm sure I didn't say "stupid" about that.... I was definitely more irritated when I told R, "I don't CARE about the crayon." Oh. The crayon... must have been the "stupid crayon." Yes. I do remember that comment (which was actually the one I came in to apologize for). I have no excuse. The boys have a blow up crayon that is highly amusing to them, and frustrating to me (because it's being used as a weapon, of course).
My flesh is weak. I'm tired and emotional and feeling incapable of making it through
Then... there are other moments I'd like to forget, too. After showing up a few minutes late to our dr. appointments yesterday I had to embarrassingly admit that I didn't have our new insurance cards. What a big deal that was! I knew better. After that glaring incompetence, I took T (2) to the bathroom, with M in his carseat, while the other children played. I wonder if the nurses/receptionists heard the monologue that I heard (and imagined they did, too!).
T: Wow! I like this bathroom.
It's pretty nice.
I like the white and the potty.
Look! The paper is by the floor!
I need to have doodoos.
That's a big daddy doodoo.
We don't eat doodoos.
They taste bad on our tongue.
Yeah. So even if our bellies like them, we don't eat them.
We eat watermelon.
These are shorts, not pants. I like shorts.
And so much more... but I'm already forgetting.
Monday, June 21, 2010
There and Back (Again)
So. . . we made it back to VA (last night after 9 p.m.).
And, it's Monday. . . I'm purposing to think on what I'm grateful for.
I am thankful:
127) Our van didn't break down or need repairs on our trip
128) No one was sick
129) B's motorcycle "incident" wasn't worse. His "ruined" (R) face almost looks normal today.
130) For contacts, when glasses are ruined (really!)
131) For picnic lunches
132) For shade under trees
133) For rest areas and clean restrooms
134) That my husband can drive nearly forever
135) To have found my Bible again
136) For boys who say, "Can you read more of Joshua now?!"
137) L is writing her alphabet, and notes to people
138) Melons are in season! And peaches- yum!
139) My brother and his wife are starting their life together
140) For friends who insist that I take a rest and ask for help
141) Tomatoes and cucumbers are growing like crazy out of the garden
142) Honesty of friends (declining invitation)
143) For a really nice borrowed camera
144) For meals with extended family
145) That my kids have cousins
146) For air conditioning
147) Clothes fresh off of the line
148) For returned phone calls
149) For the "least bad" pair of sandals for L
150) For an enforced splurge on a nice dress
151) To see my sister, pregnant and beautiful
152) That one child is big enough to sit in the front seat (gasp!)
153) For the quiet moments in the van (few and far between)
154) For the bounty of wheat and meat we returned with
155) B took such great photos of our trip and celebrations
156) Our home was undamaged while we were gone
157) For my phone, my computer, my water
158) To be home
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And, it's Monday. . . I'm purposing to think on what I'm grateful for.
I am thankful:
127) Our van didn't break down or need repairs on our trip
128) No one was sick
129) B's motorcycle "incident" wasn't worse. His "ruined" (R) face almost looks normal today.
130) For contacts, when glasses are ruined (really!)
131) For picnic lunches
132) For shade under trees
133) For rest areas and clean restrooms
134) That my husband can drive nearly forever
135) To have found my Bible again
136) For boys who say, "Can you read more of Joshua now?!"
137) L is writing her alphabet, and notes to people
138) Melons are in season! And peaches- yum!
139) My brother and his wife are starting their life together
140) For friends who insist that I take a rest and ask for help
141) Tomatoes and cucumbers are growing like crazy out of the garden
142) Honesty of friends (declining invitation)
143) For a really nice borrowed camera
144) For meals with extended family
145) That my kids have cousins
146) For air conditioning
147) Clothes fresh off of the line
148) For returned phone calls
149) For the "least bad" pair of sandals for L
150) For an enforced splurge on a nice dress
151) To see my sister, pregnant and beautiful
152) That one child is big enough to sit in the front seat (gasp!)
153) For the quiet moments in the van (few and far between)
154) For the bounty of wheat and meat we returned with
155) B took such great photos of our trip and celebrations
156) Our home was undamaged while we were gone
157) For my phone, my computer, my water
158) To be home
Friday, June 11, 2010
Ahhhh!
We made it!
Fed M at 3 a.m. yesterday and then prepared to leave.
Left VA at 4:20 a.m.
Arrived in IL at 9:10 p.m.
Fed M at 10 p.m., talked with my sister-in-law until nearly 11, and then went to bed.
Up with all the kids at 6:20 a.m. this morning!
The trip went amazingly well. All of the kids hung in relatively well. I do think poor M is a bit hoarse today from crying in the van.
Noted differences: I would stop at every rest area between VA and IL (good thing I wasn't in charge!). B would drive the entire way without stopping and using a "chamber pot" (as O calls it) when absolutely necessary. I prefer to park in a shady spot in the way back of a big parking lot or park to nurse peacefully. B pulls up and parks in the spot at the front door of the gas station when he thinks I'm serious that "M needs to nurse NOW." Things like this keep me smiling... all 815 miles to IL!
Thank you for praying for us. We're on for some serious celebrating!
Fed M at 3 a.m. yesterday and then prepared to leave.
Left VA at 4:20 a.m.
Arrived in IL at 9:10 p.m.
Fed M at 10 p.m., talked with my sister-in-law until nearly 11, and then went to bed.
Up with all the kids at 6:20 a.m. this morning!
The trip went amazingly well. All of the kids hung in relatively well. I do think poor M is a bit hoarse today from crying in the van.
Noted differences: I would stop at every rest area between VA and IL (good thing I wasn't in charge!). B would drive the entire way without stopping and using a "chamber pot" (as O calls it) when absolutely necessary. I prefer to park in a shady spot in the way back of a big parking lot or park to nurse peacefully. B pulls up and parks in the spot at the front door of the gas station when he thinks I'm serious that "M needs to nurse NOW." Things like this keep me smiling... all 815 miles to IL!
Thank you for praying for us. We're on for some serious celebrating!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Survival Breathing
We're mostly packed to leave in the wee hours tomorrow for our IL trip.
I confess, I'm rather dreading it.
As I packed (ha! Can you call it packing? I felt more like an aimless wind, blowing through the house and doing a little here, a little there as I cleaned up after the children and held M.) I marveled at the other things happening around me.
An entire new roll of toilet paper disappeared- into the toilet, I think.
The patio stone is out again.
One child used a razor on his hair (which I did cut yesterday, by the way).
Neighbors stopped. A friend stopped by. We made banana bread and lunch and dinner. Found a library book that was supposed to go back yesterday.
And lots of other things that I can't remember now.
But I exhaled on the trampoline, jumping in the dusk and letting the gray of the sky sink into my heart. I can still jump, and breathe, and feel the air on my skin. In these days when I feel like I'm barely hanging on, there are still moments when I'm gratefully alive.
I'm praying for some moments like that tomorrow, during our seemingly endless trek across half the country.
I confess, I'm rather dreading it.
As I packed (ha! Can you call it packing? I felt more like an aimless wind, blowing through the house and doing a little here, a little there as I cleaned up after the children and held M.) I marveled at the other things happening around me.
An entire new roll of toilet paper disappeared- into the toilet, I think.
The patio stone is out again.
One child used a razor on his hair (which I did cut yesterday, by the way).
Neighbors stopped. A friend stopped by. We made banana bread and lunch and dinner. Found a library book that was supposed to go back yesterday.
And lots of other things that I can't remember now.
But I exhaled on the trampoline, jumping in the dusk and letting the gray of the sky sink into my heart. I can still jump, and breathe, and feel the air on my skin. In these days when I feel like I'm barely hanging on, there are still moments when I'm gratefully alive.
I'm praying for some moments like that tomorrow, during our seemingly endless trek across half the country.
Monday, June 7, 2010
We Say
You say "clothesline"... L (5) says "clothesliner."
You say "on your mark, get set, go!". . . T (2) says "on your market, get set, go!"
You say "candy cane". . . L says "candy CAN."
You say "on your mark, get set, go!". . . T (2) says "on your market, get set, go!"
You say "candy cane". . . L says "candy CAN."
Friday, June 4, 2010
While Riding in the Van
R (6): "Mom. Wouldn't it be cool if I were such a clever truck driver that I could beep tunes on my horn?"
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Scratching the Surface
That's what I feel like I'm doing- living life on the edge with five children. There is so much to be done: laundry, cooking, cleaning, schooling, thank you notes, business, training, exercise, nursing the baby, and so much more. . . and at the end of the day, I've barely scratched the surface.
Isn't this when the priorities rise to the top? Then I shall be happy that M was, indeed, nursed today when he was hungry. I can't say so much for the rest of my list.
The thing is, I know that so many of those things don't matter in the grand scheme. The kids won't remember that we had granola and yogurt for lunch (again) and that their clothes sat in the dryer all day (again). What disturbs me, though, is that I really feel that I'm letting other people down when I stay on the surface. These little people need me (I think). I'm sad that T seems to be struggling and I think if I could figure out how to have 20 minutes with him it may fix something. AND, if I spent more time with L and T perhaps I could escape the unpleasant surprised that happen when they play together... digging out the stones of the patio, emptying all the soap into the sink, dumping the laundry on the floor and using the basket as a boat, strapping the stuffed animals into the baby things... and more. Whew!
And when I don't do school well I feel I'm letting the big boys down. Sure, they don't care now, but I don't ever want them to feel they lacked quality education. If I don't finish the thank yous, I feel bad that the wonderful people in my life aren't given the credit and appreciation they deserve. And you know we have to eat, so I can't very well let that fall too far behind.
SO.. at the end of the day (actually well before the end of it!) I'm feeling behind and ready to cry, for I can't imagine a day where I'll catch up. Even as I try to give myself grace to let the to-do list go. . . I crumble at my inability to even rely on grace the way I want to.
The baby is fed and sleeping. Everyone else ate (really well!) today AND we spent time together. Other things have gone undone. They probably won't get done tomorrow. I'll say I'm okay with it and pray that God makes it so.
Isn't this when the priorities rise to the top? Then I shall be happy that M was, indeed, nursed today when he was hungry. I can't say so much for the rest of my list.
The thing is, I know that so many of those things don't matter in the grand scheme. The kids won't remember that we had granola and yogurt for lunch (again) and that their clothes sat in the dryer all day (again). What disturbs me, though, is that I really feel that I'm letting other people down when I stay on the surface. These little people need me (I think). I'm sad that T seems to be struggling and I think if I could figure out how to have 20 minutes with him it may fix something. AND, if I spent more time with L and T perhaps I could escape the unpleasant surprised that happen when they play together... digging out the stones of the patio, emptying all the soap into the sink, dumping the laundry on the floor and using the basket as a boat, strapping the stuffed animals into the baby things... and more. Whew!
And when I don't do school well I feel I'm letting the big boys down. Sure, they don't care now, but I don't ever want them to feel they lacked quality education. If I don't finish the thank yous, I feel bad that the wonderful people in my life aren't given the credit and appreciation they deserve. And you know we have to eat, so I can't very well let that fall too far behind.
SO.. at the end of the day (actually well before the end of it!) I'm feeling behind and ready to cry, for I can't imagine a day where I'll catch up. Even as I try to give myself grace to let the to-do list go. . . I crumble at my inability to even rely on grace the way I want to.
The baby is fed and sleeping. Everyone else ate (really well!) today AND we spent time together. Other things have gone undone. They probably won't get done tomorrow. I'll say I'm okay with it and pray that God makes it so.
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