I Will, I Will . . .

I know you are all waiting for the van story- and I WILL post it! Lord willing, it will be soon. It is a rather long story, however, and I haven't had any long moments to put the thoughts in a logical form to post. I must do it soon as our van story is nearly a week old already! Until then, let me just say that it seems that we live from one moment of desperation to another.

During one great conversation I had last week my cousin asked about our financial situation. He said that he didn't think it was any of his business before, but he wondered what we were going to do for Christmas. "I'm hoping that you guys aren't having to decide between Christmas gifts for the kids and food," he stated with concern.

"Oh no!" I exclaimed quickly. "That was easy- we chose food! The kids know that they aren't getting Christmas gifts this year (from us) and that's okay."

It is true and it is good. We had more than we needed and there WERE gifts under our tree (thanks to generous relatives and friends) as well as good (albeit simple) food on our table. We lack no good thing.

Church Email

This is an email that went out last week to our church family from our pastor; it expresses well our emotion:

Beloved,

"We have seen God's glory in amazing ways!"

That sums it up, dear friends.

In response to my recent email explaining the Curtis' need, many of you, plus family, have stepped up to help them and they are headed home, in awe of God's grace and supply.

Thank you, dear ones, for praying and giving. God is good!

For God is not so unjust as to forget your work and the love which you have shown toward His name, in having ministered and still ministering to the saints. (Hebrews 6:10)

Merry Christmas,
Mike

Home For Christmas

There is a long, amazing story which will be forthcoming. For now, we are rejoicing that we made it home to VA safely. . . and in our new (2004) Honda Odyssey van!

I am thinking a lot about FAITH. I am thinking often of HOPE. I am pondering what it means that our God would send His son as a baby to become a man and take on our sin. I am thinking of GRACE and GENEROSITY. I am thinking of MERCY. Honestly, I am overwhelmed right now thinking of all these things, reflecting on what has transpired in the past few days, looking back over our lives and peering far back into history to observe God's sovereign working. There is FEAR and TREMBLING in my spirit and AWE.

MERRY CHRISTMAS- MIGHTY CHRISTMAS.

I'm Up and Going . . . In My Mind

I am thinking of the song "Going to Carolina in my Mind." It's a bit like what I've been doing- and trying not to do- lately. Even though I am yearning to be back in VA right now I'm trying not to think about it. When I do, I find myself becoming emotional. I want to be home: to be in our home with our Christmas decorations and our food and our music and our beds and our clothes and to be able to really relax and feel comfortable, to complete our nativity story and scene, to make our food and wash and clean and tuck my kids into their beds, to greet the mailman and visit my neighbors and call friends nearby, to wrap some Christmas gifts and snuggle up in my quiet time chair. . .

We have had two trips within the last few months that started as short trips and evolved into longer stays (that I was unprepared for). I am so thankful that we are at a stage in our lives when we are able to be so flexible. Yet, I find myself longing for the comfort of our routine. It will be good to be home.

So. . . when will we be home?

Our plan at this late hour is to leave tomorrow (Monday). We can look at vehicles in the morning here in Orlando and then leave around noon. That should put us in GA at our van before the shop closes, so we can get out our remaining things, switch to a one-way rental van (if we do not leave FL with a van), and continue on to VA. Once we arrive in VA we will return the rental and probably borrow something from our neighbor as we need it. (We have awesome neighbors!) If a van isn't clearly provided for us here, tomorrow, we feel free to leave and to wait to see how the Lord will provide a van for us in VA. [Thanks for the offer of your civic, Josh, but we just wouldn't fit!]

It may sound strange to say that we are waiting on the Lord to provide us transportation. But it isn't strange to us. God has met all of our needs and promised to do so. If we really do NEED a van, then we are trusting God to take care of that. We lack the financial wherewithal to purchase something new (i.e. used), or to fix our old van. The Lord has miraculously and providentially taken care of us over and over again and we are trusting Him to work out a plan for our good- again. Four years ago we gave away our Nissan when it needed repairs we couldn't afford. We found out that we didn't really NEED to have that second car and it blessed us to let it go. Because of that experience, I hesitate to say that we NEED a new van; I'm just not sure that I know what is critical for my own well-being.

A friend here said something today that comforted me and I loved it: "God has all the vans on all the parking lots." And we only need one. Therefore, I will confidently look for our van - and hopefully end up in VA (in person, not just in thought!).

The Way Things Look

Well, we have news.
1) The van needs a new transmission. It is in Brunswick, GA. If we choose to fix it, it won't be done until after Christmas.
2) We can't afford the new transmission- but then again, putting $2000 toward something else won't get us much, either.
3) Rather than stay in hotels for many more nights, we drove back to Orlando where we are staying with friends and trying to figure out what to do. We are praying for God's direction and providential care. We are so thankful for all of our FL friends!
4) We are still hoping to be back to Lynchburg by Christmas, but at this point we don't have a vehicle. I've rescheduled two meetings and am sad to cancel our family photos with a friend (we lost our last chance because she is moving to Korea!). Our family newsletter was finished and ready to go out when we returned (which was supposed to be Wednesday), and it bothers me that letters saying "Merry Christmas" will go out late, too. The Christmas gifts aren't ready, either. Nor the food. For that matter, the only thing that IS ready for Christmas is my heart.
5) For the past year or two our family has asked God to provide a van for us when this one was done. We knew it would happen (a '99 Windstar just won't last forever!), but were hoping that it would be after law school was finished. Now that we are in need, we wonder if this is the time to wait and see God's provision, or if we should fix the Windstar, or go without. CAN we go without a vehicle?

So, here we are in FL, where we wished we could have a day or two of vacation with Daddy. It seems that God has provided the time with Daddy- but it doesn't feel much like a vacation with all the decisions and discussions going on. We are excited to see how God meets our need, and we'll report back to you when we have more news.

Our 20

At this moment:
-We are in Brunswick, GA in a hotel room. (On our way back to VA from FL. B had a 2 and 1/2 day freelance video job that he couldn't pass up- income!- and we needed to be with Daddy. It has been a whirlwind trip down, around, and now back from FL.)
-The baby is crying because his brother was tapping on his bed. Said brother is trying to get comfortable in his chair/bed.
- Livia is talking to Tate (though she ought to be quiet) and sniffing away her tears from her recent altercation with Owen.
-Owen is still chafing from his rebuke after he hit Livia ("she was irritating").
-B is continuing his correction and training of our children, though he would rather be doing something else.
-The van is outside, under our window- thankfully. We were barely able to pull in to the parking lot; it is impossible to put the van into gear. Tomorrow we will need to be towed, and then. . .
-I am eager to spend time in God's Word, reading my Bible study and renewing my mind. As my family is exhausted and irritable (and irritated!)- including me- and our circumstances again lead us to discouragement and financial desperation. . . my only hope and consolation is in the steadfast love of my Savior and my confidence that He has adopted us and is caring for us WELL as His beloved.

Today's Forecast

Is rain. It is raining, has been raining, and will be raining for quite some time. Oh, I do love a good rainy day when it's a bit chilly and gray and perfect for curling up with kids and books, making cocoa and soup and grilled cheese and. . . mopping up the office floor and dumping and repositioning pans and bowls for catching water. (Just so you know, I'm smiling.)

Proviso for Leaks

The roof over our office leaks. When it rains (or snows!), I have to position pans and towels along the desk and on top of the file cabinet, and rearrange computer equipment and papers. The cause of the leak is known: we need our shingles replaced. They are cracked and falling apart, allowing water to seep through. This has been a problem for almost a year now, but we haven't had the money needed to repair it (the estimate is around $400). Thankfully, it hasn't rained all that much this year in Virginia.

But I'm hoping for some snow. And our family has been praying for God to supply our needs. Clearly, he has been providing food for us. Is it too much to ask for some help with the roof?

Well, apparently not. This past Sunday our pastor gave our family a Christmas card from another, anonymous family in the church, who wanted to bless a family with what God has given to them. Our pastor chose us. The card-giver wrote, "Merry Christmas to you and your family- may GOD'S funds be used for your Christmas gifts and needs. From one God "owned" family to another." Inside was $500.

Groceries, Take Two

After posting about getting groceries two weeks ago, I thought I ought to post what happened last week when I went to Kroger for groceries.

This time I went with the $100 gift card we had received (at this point we didn't have anything else to use!).

I carefully selected our groceries (with Livia's help). We opted not to get the frozen onions nor the cottage cheese nor the jelly nor the blood oranges (my favorite!), nor the juice (for smoothies). We did choose extra nuts, which were on sale, and we had to get some diapers (which were on clearance!).

Again, I put everything on the conveyor belt in order of importance. (And, of course, sorted by type: cold, boxes, etc.) I DO like some organization! Livia and I were the only ones in "line" (can't have a line with just the two of us, can you?).

I had one coupon for $1.50 off.

Grand total before the last five items: $101.40

The cashier knew that I only had $100; I had told her that I needed to carefully watch the total as she neared $100. So I matter-of-factly told her that I wouldn't be getting the other items today. They weren't imperative: muffin liners, mixed salad, barley, and a second can of pumpkin. Unbeknownst to me, someone had joined us in line. I glanced back at a man in a faded, 80ish jean jacket with two orange crush sodas in his hand. "I'll get those," he said, gesturing toward the items still sitting on the questionable side of the scanner. The cashier looked at him quizzically, and he stated again, "I'll pay for those."

Then he asked me if there was anything else our family needed. "No," I assured him, this would cover our needs for the week.

And so I used up the $100 gift card and also came home with five other items that we did use this week. Once again, I left that store praising God. This time He allowed me to also thank the man, and to have a nice little conversation with him as we walked to our cars. My neediness was so apparent. . . and even though that can be terribly uncomfortable, it is also such a good place to be, because I'm receiving exactly what I need (even beyond groceries) in extraordinary ways.

This man said he thought that everybody ought to see a need and jump in like he did. He didn't look like he had extra money that he could spend $8 on my family, but he thought it was right to help when he could.

How refreshing and good for my spirit it is to see the best of human love.

I Think She's Taking it Personally

Yesterday I heard Livia boisterously singing, "Joy to MY world, the Lord is come!" It is currently the boys' favorite carol, but Livia seems to really take it to heart.

Baked Oatmeal II

Here is a second version of baked oatmeal. I like this one because it uses water to precook the oats (cheaper than milk!), which seems to turn out well. I use less and less sugar (generally I replace all of the sugar with honey) as our family tastes have changed. Even though I have to use two bowls to make this version (poor me!), the family has loved the results. There is barely enough to feed our hungry family of six!

Baked Oatmeal II
3 1/2 cups of water
2 cups rolled oats
1 and 1/3 cup of milk
3 eggs
1/2 cup honey
2 tsp. baking powder
2 tsp. cinnamon
1/2 tsp. salt
1 cup dried fruit (optional)
1/2 cup applesauce (optional)
A few tablespoons of wheat germ or ground flaxseed
Chopped nuts (optional)

1. Preheat oven to 350.
2. In a large saucepan, bring water to boiling and add oats. Simmer until most of the water is absorbed and the oats are tender (5-7 minutes).
3. While oats are simmering, whisk eggs in another bowl. Add milk and remaining ingredients. Pour into oats and gently fold. Pour oatmeal mixture into a buttered 2 quart casserole or large baking stone.
4. Bake, uncovered, at 350 for 30 to 40 minutes, until center is just set and the edges are getting crusty. Serve with milk.

Anointed

I sure hope that rubbing olive oil into hardwood floors is somehow beneficial. That is just what Tate was doing yesterday while I was making dinner. He tipped over the Sam's size olive oil and before I knew it the floor was coated with a rather thick layer of oil. Tate's pants were soaking and one shoe was entirely filled. I wrung olive oil out of his socks. He didn't seem to mind a bit.

This is just a sign of the times. I have have a baby who is quickly turning into a very busy toddler. A busy toddler who, after his own bath and nighttime preparations was found BACK in the bathtub- quietly sucking his fingers and looking innocent there in his pajamas and clean, sodden diaper. A busy toddler who can get in and out of doors in a flash and is always looking for anything left open a crack. A toddler who disappears inside kitchen cabinets and reappears with a "boooo!"

It's too much fun (and work!), I'll tell 'ya.

Organization

I felt really good when I read recently that being organized means you can find something in five minutes or less. I like organization- but I don't think that I'm as ultra-organized as I would like to be. (Ha! It's a pipe dream. . . how my house will look one day when the kids are grown. I'll have things clean and tidy and always presentable for company. But I'll take it as it is today for the precious lives that take priority over cleaning and having everything just so.)

This isn't a post about priorities. CLEARLY, my family is my priority over organization or cleaning. I'm just saying that I like to have things orderly and often feel as if disarray is going to swallow me alive within my home. But IF the aforementioned definition of organization is even remotely on-target. . . actually, I don't even care if it's true- I feel better. I can generally find things in five minutes or less. Ta-Da!

Just knowing that I meet the standard (isn't this insane?) makes me happier and with a lightened spirit I rearranged a drawer and purged some unused clothing. It's a small feat in the avalanche of a family's LIFE and stuff. . . but it does feel good to be organized.